Kevin (I think...): Can you stand?
Becca: ...Are you a wizard?
I love when previews of a movie look really awesome and then the movie itself exceeds your expectations anyways. Wristercutters: A Love Story is one the best movies I’ve seen in years. I think it’s because it didn’t try too hard. I think that was my problem with Juno. The actors were fantastic and made the movie really great, but the dialogue just reaked of trying too hard. Only...
Dude, i just drank 5
Dude, i just drank 5 beers i think and took like 7 hits. AND THEN I WON ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A FIFTH GRADER ON MY PHONE.
There’s a child in my house that still believes in Santa. You have no idea how amazing that makes Christmas again.
HOLY SHIT. ROGER FROM SISTER, SISTER MOLESTED AND... →
Jessica Simpson's Blonde Ambition had a box office... →
Why is it that most of the time I want a very exciting, freeing, travel-y (…) life all to my own, but every once in awhile there is a day where my body is 100% estrogen and I just want to pop out some babies and stay at home while waiting for my husband to come home from his very profitable and safe job. And I want to wear aprons while cooking Christmas dinner. And own curlers. And high...
You know what people should do? People should voice their opinions on how Christmas is too material. I DON’T SEE THAT OPINION VOICED ENOUGH AT ALL. IT WOULD BE COMPLETELY ORIGINAL FOR SOMEONE TO DO THAT. In other news, I had a dream that I won $36,000 on a scratch ticket. Only when I looked closely it was actually a 0% interest rate loan. Which is a good deal, but what the hell.
A filling fell out last week and I’ve been avoiding getting it refilled because I don’t have dental insurance and can’t afford the $160 or so. I — I can live with chewing on the left side for the next several months, I think. And ignore the probability of having to get a root canal if I let this go on for too long. Anyways, I fell asleep while watching Dr. Katz and had a...
I am no longer a teenager! Amanda told me, “This means you’re no longer invincible, you know.” So there goes my days of hardcore drugs, alcohol and unprotecteced sex. Hello, responsibility.
In 22 and a half hours I won’t be a teenager anymore. I don’t use emoticons often, so I’m going to use this to make a point about how I feel: :( Also: :/ And just a tad, just a taste of: :)
Guy with an ICP Hatchet Tattoo ON HIS NECK: Do you guys sell those frogs that like, secrete poison? And you can lick them?
Amanda: No... I'm not even sure what those are called... We don't sell drugs here.
I was driving back from my canceled class and was sort of in the middle of the road (on purpose) because the snow wasn’t fully cleared away. And then I saw a car coming the other way, so I got out of the way and the closer he got the more worried I got that we were going to crash. So at the last second I pulled the wheel to the right a bit harder than I should have and totally hit the snow...
There’s about 8 inches of snow on the ground, the Christmas lights are up and I think I just witnessed one of the most peaceful 5:30 in the mornings that there’s ever been.
I’m so jealous of Demetri Martin’s brain that I am starting to actually hate him. I can’t listen or watch his stuff without erupting in rage that some people can think like that. Also, nbc.com tells me that last night’s episode of 30 Rock has something to do with an annual “ludachristmas” party. I’m going to press play in about 30 seconds and I’m...
A group of college kids Punk'd Scott Stapp of... →
I want to make a documentary where I, a 19 year old redheaded, white female just hangs out with Al Sharpton all day. With or without his consent, it really doesn’t matter. But if I could get a montage shot of us at some sort of theme park going on the rides (me, extremely excited and animated. Him, cardboard) that would be pretty excellent.
6 - 10 inches sounds like a pretty good deal to...
Classes are canceled due to the storm! Which means I don’t have to quickly write my (very) short paper that was due at 12:30 for American Lit, I don’t have to take my probably easy and short quiz for sociology and… more importantly… I don’t have to present my motherfucking 6 -7 minute speech for Speech class tonight. Which is pretty badass because I only have like, a...
God, I love free things.
A couple hours ago I got back from a free screening of Juno where they gave us free Juno t-shirts. They are brighter orange than traffic cones and I am wearing it right now. My one and only complaint about the otherwise pretty good movie: Stop with the fucking quirky dialogue. Just stop it. Not everything has to sound like the next big catch phrase. “Swear to blog”? Honestly? It...
like, what is [redacted] seriously doing now aside from the assault charges?– Marissa, while we were discussing kids from high school. Someone was recently arrested for sexual assault and it’s basically the best post-high school thing we’ve ever heard. Aside from there being a sexual assault victim and crap.
Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you...– Ralph Waldo Emerson quotes Nearly all of Emerson’s teachings seem to be geared towards thing: Fuckin’ succeeding and believin’ in yo’ self. Emerson, you smart dude, you.
I want to see it just once
How much better would your day be if the sun had a distinct, black handle bar mustache? Mine? Infinitely.
James Franco, let’s hang out. I think we could smoke some fun together. Uh, have some fun together. Have.
I think that if I asked God (providing he exists) to create me a horse/giraffe cross with a mild case of clinical depression he would definitely just make a camel again.
If I could be one classic monster, I would be Dracula. Everything is sexy when...– I was browsing some abandoned blogs from my friends and these sentences were smack-dab between a description of a restaurant and her ring tone for text messages. I love Katie, she’s impossibly strange and wonderful.
Kitty Wigs! Pink Passion →
Oh my goodness
Today at work I was so fucking badass
Irate Customer: …And everyone is fucking pointing fingers at the other person and it’s this stores fucking fault! Me: Sir, if you keep swearing and yelling I’m going to have to call mall security. And then he backed down. It was the bravest moment of my coward life. I later spent about five minutes reminiscing about it with my co-worker. Who was there. After it happened about two...
Dear Tina Fey, In one scene of Mean Girls there is a girl in a wheelchair wearing a asd asd erwe sdf I just realized that mozilla spell check does not work when you use the “share on tumblr” thing from your book marks. Those random letters were typed because I wanted to see if the red squiggly would pop up because I wasn’t sure if wheelchair was one word or two. This post is...
I’m going to cook myself a nice din — yep, just peed on myself.– Cousin Dan (on the phone)