“Life’s too short to be that hard on your motherfucking self.”
— Katt Williams, who has unknowingly taken on the task to guide me through life. Honestly though, he is a single father to 8 kids, 7 of whom are adopted? One of whom was a crack baby? Katt Williams, full of compassion.
October 2008
I’m going to drop kick every person I see dressed as The Joker tonight!
I’m so disappointed? Goddammit, false advertising. Wigs are my FAVORITE part of Halloween and NOW IT’S RUINED. I don’t even think I want to wear this.
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.
Play
I HOPE HE BLEEDS ON ME.
Seriously though, it’s me. i might be meeting Andrew WK. You don’t know how excited I am. And sexcited. I’m that as well.
GUESS WHO MIGHT BE MEETING ANDREW WK!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!
(hint: not you guys!)
“Maybe we should stop beating our kids… publicly. We are tired of going to the grocery store to see you beat your motherfucking babies. Maybe your baby ain’t bad, bitch. Maybe you’se a bad mother, you ever think of that, you retarded motherfucker? That is a toddler. Your baby is suppose to like Skittles, you ignorant bitch.”
—
Katt Williams, on child rearing.
What can I say - I respond well to swearing. Can I hire Katt Williams to guide me through life?
“I’m just saying, life is short. Ladies, ya’ll need to stop stressing all the motherfucking time. You need to understand bitch, If you are not the shit to you, you are not the shit to any-fucking-body else. You need to understand that and just deal with it. You’re talking about ‘you fucked up my self-esteem.’ Bitch, it’s called self-esteem! It’s esteem of your motherfucking self, bitch!”
—Katt Williams has sort of become my Life Coach these past few weeks.
Maybe I won’t be Christmas for Halloween. Maybe I will just be a dead thing. I guess. I don’t know.
Dead Christmas?
Today when I was peeing at work I thought of the greatest name for a gay, black male porn star:
Blow-J Simpson.
“John Lennon shot and the gay-cancer thing, I guess”
—Penn Jillette on the 80s.
Play
I hate how these headphones are only playing music into one ear. My head feels unbalanced. Like one of my shoes is tied tighter than the other. It throws everything off.
Question: Is it funny if I dress like Christmas for Halloween? It’s a lazy cop out, I only have to wear green and red things, maybe some gold. Maybe some ribbons in the hair. I just thought it was a kind of funny idea, but when I tell people their reaction is like this face:
: |
