On the way home I saw a squirrel and I wondered why, exactly, our lives are so much more meaningful than any other mammal. Then I realized it’s probably not. Because I’m there, and I’m sitting in traffic, just getting out of a ten hour work day so I can get a meager paycheck to support my education which will lead to a job with a slightly less meager paycheck and then I’ll still die. Where’s the meaning? I guess maybe love. But I have a feeling that love is just a whole lot of hormones with a little bit of neediness.
I have this theory that there are people you like to laugh with and people you like to have sex with and if you find someone who fulfills both of those things, well, that’s the closest thing to love you’ll find. Coming from a young woman who has never been in love, my argument would not hold any water and so I’ve never told anyone that. I couldn’t really imagine truly wanting to marry someone I like laughing with because chances are you will grow to silently resent each other and the anchors you’ve shoved on each others’ fingers. And every memory of every laugh you’ve ever shared with that person will be swiss-cheesed with the realization that they fucking suck (after they’ve fucked & sucked).
I would do a lot better if I was alive 1000 years ago, I think.
Those goddamn, fucking squirrels…