September 2009
3 tags
On Periods.
Becca once told me that from my tumblr it seems like I’m always on my period. I’m not. It’s just that this tumblr is a direct line from my thought-castle to the internet and when it’s happening, it’s all I think about. The fact that it happens doesn’t bother me, it’s WHAT is happening. Biologically. Uterine lining? I’m shedding it? That sounds...
August 2009
Last night I wrote checks for Becca, Dan and Chris.
In the For line for Becca’s check I put “Blow - J Lessons,” for Cousin Dan “Semen Taste Tester” and for Chris “Illegal Child Trafficking (From Africa)”
They were all for three cents and honestly? Honestly, from now on, whenever I attend a party or social gathering… I’m bringing my check...
1 tag
From now on, whenever I feel badly, I will remind myself that I will never have to go through junior high again.
I will drive around in search of 14 year olds (easily identified by their Trying-Too-Hard-To-Fit-In-With-One-Particular-Clique-Clothing and/or the look of misery in its purest form upon their faces), stop my car and point and laugh at them “YOU’RE 14!” And I’ll...
Ohhh man, you guys! Totally went to Ladies Night at the local arts & crafts store thing around here! Ladies Night means you get to DRINK BOOZE while PAINTING POTTERY PIECES!
After I painted my penguin (not a euphemism) Marissa and I visited a psychic. Right when I was about to turn the doorknob, A GUY OPENED THE DOOR FOR ME ON THE OTHER SIDE.
Right, you guys?! If I wasn’t being loud...
Two people from high school were arrested for rape!
Yes! I am doing so well for myself! At this rate I must be in the top 35% of my class in terms of Life! Simply by not getting pregnant or arrested for rape!
Caragh: Never did a rape nor got impregnated!
Subway is for white people?
Every day I learn something new. Yesterday I learned that black people find Subway inappropriate.
I mean, these two particular black people did. I’m not going to assume they were the National Representatives for Black People Everywhere, but they made me feel like a moron for suggesting Subway over Longhorns so maybe they WERE speaking for black people everywhere.
“Well, there’s...
1 tag
I will never be able to pinpoint what is just so strangely satisfying about certain all-nighters.
Maybe it’s when you hit that point of mild mental exhaustion. Your mind shuts off and you are left with nothing but a calm flat-line, a complete relief from… everything.
It’s so much easier to be sweeter when you have nothing to concentrate on but the feeling of being tired.
Feelin’ bad for ladies who have cleavage as a constant accesory to their outfit in an obvious attempt to distract people away from whatever body or face part they believe is undesirable. Even though it usually is. Undesirable, I mean.
3 tags
Things That Shouldn't Give Me Anxiety, But Do....
The ability to keep myself alive
I am not only trusted with A human life, but it’s MY human life. It is arguably the most important human life of all and I am in charge of not killing it? Who the fuck created this universe? How am I in chargeof KEEPING MYSELF ALIVE? Can’t I appoint someone to do this for me?
The ability to create a life
I can’t believe I’m just allowed...
I know I’m 21, but I still think it’s appropriate if I stick my fingers in my ears and start yell-singing a top 40 hit until you shut up when you’re explaining what a subdural hematoma is, in graphic detail, while I’m high. I KNOW what a subdural hematoma is. OF COURSE I do. I can also tell you the chance of a baby being born with autism or down syndrome is. OFF THE TOP OF...
(song via turnlizer)
I’ve listened to this...
Remember that time in 1991 when my cousins and I, age 4, covered my napping aunt in food (raw egg in her hair, cheeze-itz on her feet, etc) “so the rats would get her”?
Good times. Good times.
The only thing sadder than those puppies is realizing you have no marijuana connections and the Perc-addict guy who was suppose to give you free weed because his father made him get rid of all his plants ends up in New Hampshire for the week in search of more pain pills and so his father throws out all of his weed.
That is definitely the saddest thing.
(Actually, the SADDEST thing was this young...
It was a good weekend.
Saturday I went down to Wareham for a friend’s birthday. I’ve done this most summers for 10 years now. A decade. While there have been other Party Patrons who came and went, there is still that core group of girls I’ve known, and been amazing friends with to this day, since fifth grade. Walking to Kool Kone I realized how completely lucky I am to still be friends with these...
Purpose: Verify my suspicion that underneath it all I possess the ability to act like an intelligent human being who is not controlled by emotion.
Hypothesis: If I learn which brain chemicals effect/determine emotion and which area of the brain they effect, I will be able to control every emotional thought, regardless of what that emotion may be.
Procedure:
Become fully aware of just how much...
There is not a fucking atom in my body that knows the difference between good decisions and bad decisions. Like… really, Caragh? These are the choices you’re making now? You are completely aware and conscious of the fact that NONE OF THIS WILL LEAD TO ANY GOOD, but you can’t seem to stop? You feel yourself slowly drifting down BadDecision River, the very river that expels...
Last night Becca and I acted like Muppets for a few moments while there was a party going on around us. Like, typical Caragh/Becca events, you know? Talkin’ trash about people we don’t know, walkin’ away from the party to star gaze while lounging in lawn chairs, actin’ like Muppets, The usual.
It got us talking about how amazing we would be as Muppets. It would be so, so...
But, before I forget:
Progeria is probably a pedophile’s absolute nightmare.
We must check all progeria charity leaders to make sure they are not raising money because they are men (or women! [but statistically not!]) who want to eliminate a disease that makes those sweet supples look like grapes of elderly proportions.
On a scale from minor anxiety attack to 7 car pile up, how bad is is that I want to smoke a bowl before making the 45 minutes trip to Warehem right now just to pass the time?
I’m thinking “mild and curable skin cancer”, so it’s a no-go.
Also when I was there a bit ago I heard a catcall of the “hey, baby” variety while I was still in my car. I ignored it because I’m never sure if that’s someone making fun of me or someone being creepy towards me. After staring in the mirror for 45 minutes I decided they were probably making fun of me and then I saw someone who looked liked an English Bulldog and no one fake...
Back to Wal-Mart, 25 minutes away.
Because I left my phone there.
Just letting you know because I want to document this week. I want this week on record. Probably dying on Saturday, that’s probably how this will end. That’ll just be a fucking climax of an ending if I’ve ever seen one.
Less than 24 hours after I declared to my tumblr that this has been an awful week, I ran out of gas.
At 12:30 in the morning. In the pouring, POURING, rain.
Luckily, I had enough to coast right into a gas station.
Unluckily, that gas station was closed.
Luckily, my family lives a mile and a half away and my father owns a gas can.
Unluckily, no one in my family answered their phone.
Luckily,...
Anna Meets the Furries, Part 1 →
A few nights ago I got into a conversation with a few friends about weird, sexual fetishes. I brought up my new fave, Objectophilia, and then someone brought up Furries, which was my OLD fave.
I’m still really unsure what Furries actually… do. Or are. Are they sexually attracted to stuffed animals or live animals? Does it vary?
And why do I think it’s so fucked up?...
I’m just really bummed out about how awful this week has been.
These past few months I have tried really hard to be more happy, more successful. I look back at my life a mere 8 months ago and I wonder how I let myself act so immature. To be a victim of my own emotions is unnecessary. Why would I take such bullshit from myself when I have no problem confronting (and ultimately eliminating...
Why is my history class not on my transcipt. Why is my history class not on my transcript. WHY IS MY HISTORY CLASS NOT ON MY TRANSCRIPT.
Visions of this not being a website problem. Visions of never fully being registered. Visions of taking that class for nothing. Visions of the world being against me. Visions of me murdering everyone.
Why can’t everything be solved with a nap and more...
We have no idea how a child of such intelligence...
Liam, the 6 year old, holding the baby: Special delivery! Here's your son!
Caileen, napping: No, put him back where he came from.
Liam: Ok!!! Open up your vagina!!!
Me: How do you know that?!
Liam: I just do. I just know these things.
5:30 PM: We leave for the two hour drive, “we will arrive half an hour early!” we say 5:50 PM: We put on Hall & Oates greatest hits. Suddenly realize we might not be able to sit and listen to Hall & Oates for an hour and a half. Suddenly wonder if this is all a joke we have taken too far. 6:30 PM: Dan: Who’s the opener? Me: I don’t know let me check the...
“There has to be a reason for us missing this concert. There has to be. Everything happens for a reason and there’s a fucking reason why I’m not seeing “Rich Girl” live right now.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“One of us is going to meet our soul mate tonight. That’s why we’re missing this concert right now. Soul mates.”
...
