February 2010
KATIE SUNSHINE HAS A BLOG →
etrangere:
Sunshine is one of my many awesome funny lady friends who is a part time goddess. I was going to quote her, but then I couldn’t decide what to quote, so just go read her blog because she is the best.
I’m reblogging this even though I don’t have time to read a single word because I need to do the dishes RIGHT NOW before I lose motivation. Katie is like, one of the best...
January 2010
Teen Moms, baby.
Tuesday’s finale drew more than 3.6 million viewers and was the No. 1 original cable series among viewers 12 to 34 for eight straight Tuesdays. Season 2 will premiere this summer with eight episodes, following the same four young women into their second year of motherhood. [via]
etrangere:
whydoihaveablog:
Gin was a bad idea.
Gin was such a bad idea.
I think Caragh had a good time at my party, guys.
I felt sick to my stomach from the moment we left your apartment until we turned onto my street. Where I puked. In a Target bag. Four houses from my home.
There is something so miserable about trying not to vomit for your 35 minute drive home and losing all of your...
1 tag
Gin was a bad idea.
Gin was such a bad idea.
Oh, wait! You guys! I just went to the source and it’s this 17 year old Jesus-loving girl. Jesus Christ, it was a chain e-mail! I should’ve known! A card can’t get to heaven with lots of stamps! It can’t even get to Pluto!
There’s video evidence of me, age 5, throwing a coin into a fountain, looking thoughtfully up at the sky and saying “I wish I could go outside and plant a lot of trees and I wish there were NO. STRANGERS.”
The next time I visit a fountain I am going to wish for the confidence of a rapper (very high) with their accompanying self-awareness (low). That seems to be the only way to...
Snuggie Pub Crawl in Boston →
(via etrangere)
I just texted Becca and I’m about to go to Wal Mart and buy us a couple Snuggies! This is going to be so much less fun than I expect!!! I’m really excited to be disappointed!!!!!
Salinger's death is officially the most annoying...
etrangere:
Even if I am sad about it.
Also, Caragh, I think you killed him by mentioning your hatred of Catcher in the Rye the other day.
When my boss told me the news I immediately thought I would catch flack about this. When I got home and checked my cell phone I saw a missed call from Dan and this from you.
ALSO, I DON’T HATE CATCHER IN THE RYE. I HATE HOLDEN.
“This use to be a real blog, but now It’s just a place where I talk about Law...”
– That’s how Caragh describes her blog.
I’ve told you this before, but she’s another one of the funniest “undiscovered” young bloggers out there. Someone should hire her, but definitely not anyone that employs me. Especially if they are seeking a replacement.
(via molls)
I just found out my Algebra...
imemilyj-deactivated20111215 asked: My favorite part of Teen Moms so far was when Farrah went on a date with a kid named Shaq.
Not a question, I guess, but a really, really profound statement.
Not a question, I guess, but a really, really profound statement.
“Hey, I’ve thought about it, and I’ve decided what I’m going to...”
– My 16 year old brother, talking like a 16 year old brother.
I have to remind myself that sometimes this is enough.
Last night I spent 10 minutes short of two hours on the phone with an old friend I haven’t spoken to in awhile. He called me with the original specific intention for me to explain the Late Night Fiasco. Ha.
Today I read a Clifford book to my nephew maybe 20 times. In a row. We went shopping and he hid from me and I tickled him and he...
Imagine my surprise when PMS week came and went without a single tear having fallen! Of course, as soon as I thought that I suddenly realized that every period is just THE MISCARRIAGE OF MY UNFERTILIZED CHILD. Egg. Whatever. The point is I stood around with the suggestion of possible pinpricks of tears in my eyes, alternatively thinking THIS IS RIDICULOUS and I COULD’VE NAMED HER LILLIAN, WE...
It sucks that I’m 22 and the first day back to school still makes me want to throw up. I hate that I seem incapable of changing how nervous/shy/self-conscious/paranoid/anxious I am.
Tonight I spent $200 because I got high and decided I wanted to repaint and redecorate my room.
It’s necessary. My walls are yellow. I painted them that way in high school because I thought it would make...
1 tag
Even though I am perfectly aware that it takes less than 30 seconds to put on pantyhose, when I know I’m going to wear them for work I will start getting dressed at least 5 minutes earlier. In some part of my brain, I feel as if it takes 20 minutes to put pantyhose on. And it’s just the worst thing ever. The material. The waiting for the inevitable run in the thigh. The checking of the...
“You dropped your classes because you’re lazy as fuck.”
– Ryan, from Teen Moms to Maci, who was dropping her classes because she fell behind because Ryan, who doesn’t even have a job, refuses to take care of their son.
It’s just so cruel. That bone structure. That beautiful skin. The way his eyes squint when he smiles. Wasted on this soulless...
3 tags
I think I just cooked a cheeseburger for the first time in my life. Granted, they were premade patties. And also it was chopped in half because I was worried the inside was raw. And also those halves were chopped in half because it was, indeed, raw on the inside so I cooked it for a bit longer and had to check them.
But I’m pretty sure I just cooked a cheeseburger for the first time!
“The thing that offends me the most is every time I hear the word the N-word. Not...”
– Louis CK.
I just want a shirt that has a rainbow and the words “swearing is the best!” with a little stick figure guy who looks adorable and then if you go under a black light the entire shirt is just covered in a wide variety of swear words, but definitely heavy on the...
Anderson Cooper saving a boy's life. →
Be warned, the picture are incredibly graphic and upsetting. There is a lot of blood. So much blood, so bright red, that it doesn’t look real.
Believe me when I say this tugs on my heart strings. Ok? I gasped and grimaced and felt sick to my stomach. I want you to know that before I write what I’m going to write:
Anderson Cooper putting himself in the heart of danger to heroically...
I wonder if I become more hypercritical and bitchy when I’m high, or if I’m always this hypercritical and bitchy and only become self-aware when I’m high.
It’s a trap I’ve fallen into. My family is not very supportive and shows love by pointing out character flaws and making people cry. I’m trying hard to fix me up before I become this way permanently, but...
When someone flashes their headlights at me to let me know there’s a cop ahead, I feel a little giddy. Like I was allowed into a secret society of citizens who help each other, like the other person think that this lady driving the 13 year old Mercury Sable might be a good person and they don’t want to see her get a ticket. I just like the whole concept a whole lot. I wonder how it...
3 tags
I watched The Jersey Shore earlier. The Situation put a cocktail of disgusting things under Pauly D’s bed as a retaliation move.
Haha, who would ever think to do something so utterly immature? So obviously pathetic? Who would do such a thing?
u da u da best →
I’m so bored that I’m watching The Real World.
I hate these people and their crying and problems and emotions.
I thought you don't believe in god.
I do for the bad things!
http://comingandcrying.com →
(click to donate and read what Meaghano has to say about Coming and Crying.)
Meaghan’s blog is wonderful and witty and so well-written and I can only imagine her book, Coming and Crying, will be the same. I’m sure most people on Tumblr follow her already, but for those of you who don’t, you should. I like her writing because it reminds me of everything good and bad about being...
“Think about it! Dolphins, man, their brains are bigger than ours the same way...”
– Jeff Bridges on Conan last night.
The entire interview is just Jeff endorsing LSD, talking to dolphins and then he sings a song. And it is awesome. The song is. Everything else just reminded me of what I would become if I took LCD. I’d try it once and then try it again and then I would try it...
When you pick up Chinese food and you are alone on a Saturday night, when the lady tells you to “have a great night!” she’s aware of the irony, right? The crippling, weeping irony?
In the latest episode of Parks and Recreation, Leslie’s blind date, an MRI tech, takes her on an impromptu trip… To the hospital. For a free, full body scan.
The concept of this being a bad date is completely flawed. That sounds like the best date! It sounds like the best time you could have! Can you even imagine? A full body scan FOR FREE?
It has been my long-standing wish that 1)...