October 2010
Dexter Episode 505: "First Blood"
tvschool:
By Cara Lorraine
Like any ol’ murdering, hyper-secretive father who witnessed his mother’s brutal maiming at a young age, only to repress it for 30-some odd years, leading to an almost sociopathic drive to kill, Dexter is rather concerned how Harrison’s future will be affected by his own viewing of his mother’s death.
“First Blood”’s opening sequence is an abstract display of...
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Like buying bottled water though we have clean water running through our faucets, It seems pretty wasteful that I bought fake blood for Halloween on the day I started my period.
I hit a low point yesterday.
I went to school, finished my Dexter review very late due to one foreseen circumstance and then one totally unforeseen circumstance which, literally and without exaggeration, involved the cops and wet laundry and I would tell you the rest but you wouldn’t believe me, and then I left my house at 12:30 in the afternoon and didn’t see sober until I woke up at...
FYI
If you follow this blog on tumblr, then this post is boring and meaningless to you and you can ignore it.
If you just read this right from my blog, maybe you would possibly want to know that the URL will change to probablycara.tumblr.com in a day or two.
This is a lie because we all know my name is definitely not cara, but my birth name is mad googleable. You know what I’m doing when I get...
I’m having one of those weeks where every time I buy a coffee I have a flash vision of what it would look like if I were to give the middle finger to the entire starving population of Ethiopia individually, and how dropping $70 on an eighth last week felt like I was standing over and peeing directly onto a deathly ill Cambodian child’s head while throwing Tylenol and other modern...
I’m really PMSy and emotional right now, so I’ve spent most of today getting really, really sad about the one time Micah invited me to a rap show and there was a rapper named Christopher Talken and how wonderful and magical I found that name and then I had to leave early and never saw if he was any good or not.
Rachael Leigh Cook Slams Celeb Airbrushing →
I didn’t even make it to the second paragraph, because come on. This article should read:
Extremely attractive woman Rachael Leigh Cook slams the popular practice of celebrity airbrushing, insisting “It really bums me the frig out when uggos can be made to look as pretty as me.”
Celebrity touch ups and digitizing has effected all forms of media in today’s beauty driven...
Things I Imagine Have Been Said By People Who Are...
“I’m gonna have a Liam Neeson movie marathon at my place later, so.”
“You got any of that Ed Hardy hand sanitizer left, bro?”
“Wanna see the new Michael Bay film? I hear the explosions are metaphors for bigger explosions.”
“My favorite part of Garden State is…”
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Oh, okay.
Me: Can we go put your pants on?
2 year old nephew: No.
Me: Why?
2 year old nephew: I'm dead.
At this point in the game, it would literally be easier for me to legally change my name than try and erase myself from search engines. Jesus Christ.
In the pros and cons list I have made regarding switching my major, I have under pro “can’t be a teacher anyway if my students google me and find out I once won free underwear in a contest for Hanes.”
On the other hand, if I end...
My parents' parenting "skills" ruined me, and in...
Me: So I left him a note calling him a cocksucker and--
Dad: Oh, like you called me the other day?
Me: Oh, after you said I was a bitch?
Dad: You were a bitch.
Me: No I wasn't. You were a cocksucker.
Dad: What is a cocksucker?!
Me: I don't get where you're going with this.
Dad: A cocksucker is a verb.
Me: No, it isn't.
Dad: COCKSUCKER IS A VERB.
Me: NO, IT ISN'T. CocksuckING is a verb.
Dad: Then what's cocksucker?
Me: It's a noun.
Dad: Fine. What's your point?
Me: You're a cocksucker!
(pause)
Me: Wait, no, you were the one trying to make a point.
Dad: Just finish your story.
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Do you ever try to write a paper on a Friday night, but instead you sit and think about the time you were 16 and taking driving lessons and the driving instructor started to tell you and your friend that he was fucking a 19 year old, and then he asked what both of you thought of it, and then there was a pause and he asked both of you if you had boyfriends?
various texts from today.
“Lemme know when you’re free dude, this shit has hair as red as yours!”
“Whacha doing?”
“Dranks?”
“Yo girl you free today/tonight??”
The more homework I have the more frequent weed and booze and/or adventure-promising texts and calls I receive. There is a direct correlation.
I just want to drop out of school, try coke for the first time,...
Hi!
Are you a teacher, teacher’s aid, student teacher, a parent, or a school nurse (or a nurse working in pediatrics)?
Want to help me with a school project due tomorrow that I forgot about? Please answer any (though preferably all) questions below if you’re feeling generous. Send me an e-mail at whydoihaveablog@gmail.com or send me a tumblr message.
1. What do you see as your primary...
Stressed.
I just took a break from school work and stood in the kitchen, leaning against the sink, eating rice and looking my dogs in their begging eyes. By the last bite I was laughing quietly and maniacally, alone, because I am human and they cannot get rice for themselves and for some reason my superiority makes me feel better about myself.
“What’s wrong? You want rice? You want this rice?...
Listen
Listen
Quick poll:
sade:
how many of y’all are reading this from prison?
Edit: I mean literal prison, not your metaphorical mind dungeon or something.
Oh yeah, no, for real, IS anyone reading my blog from a prison? Come on. COME ON. Just let me know! Have you been to prison? Did you witness a murder? Did you murder? I WON’T EVEN TELL ANYONE. JUST LET ME KNOW.
kevinbabbles asked: So it turns out I know a murderer! My friend's cousin just stabbed his neighbor to death, so he's a new inductee to the club. I'll see if I can get him to read your blog, though it may take several years. They don't have internet in prison, do they?
As a very young child I dreamt of creating the world’s largest map. It would have been life size and easy to make since I would simply trace the coastlines and highways onto a giant sheet of paper. I didn’t think about the numerous flaws in this plan, how it could never work out, how I would never prosper, I was too blind-sided with what an amazing idea it was.
That is what life feels...
notcyberflaneuse-deactivated201 asked: http://www.google.com/support/forum/p/Webmasters/label?lid=5489e59697a233d7&hl=en
This page is really helpful for getting rid of google results. If you can't delete the comment, you can contact the owner of the website and have them remove it. If they refuse or you can't get into contact with them, I believe there are ways to get around it that google webmaster explains. Did...
This page is really helpful for getting rid of google results. If you can't delete the comment, you can contact the owner of the website and have them remove it. If they refuse or you can't get into contact with them, I believe there are ways to get around it that google webmaster explains. Did...
Hi.
(Edit: Problem solved, people are awesome, etc.)
Do you work for Gawker? I know some of you do, so don’t lie to me about this right now.
I once wrote a comment on Gawker and stupidly used my gmail address without understanding it would become my screenname or whatever. Someone replied to the comment with an @symbol with my first.last name following it. I’m going through the process...
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Dog →
This little comic is the sweetest thing I’ve seen in awhile. I have tears in my eyes.
Dogs got us humans on lockdown like nothing else.
I want you to know that the best choices I’ve made in life so far in 2010 have all fallen under the category of “buying iced coffee with friends between the hours of 11 PM and 3 AM.”
Dexter Episode 504: "Beauty and the Beast" →
tvschool:
By Cara Lorraine
I guess I can’ t go about writing this without talking about Quinn, whose shallow, deep-set cheek bones I recently realized might be why I dislike his face so much. I shouldn’t insult the physical characteristics of a real person just because I dislike a character he is portraying, but on the other hand, he should have better cheek bones, so I think that means...
Things That Give Us Anxiety, But Shouldn't →
People are fucking weird and I love it and I want to share that until you’re doing sharing it with me without it taking over my entire blog, so here is a place where you should submit your ridiculous anxieties.
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Anonymous asked: I miss your Teen Mom commentary (Teen Mommentary? Except you're not a mom. You'd tell us if you were a mom, wouldn't you?) You're the reason I started watching the show!
alyssaspiering asked: okay also a thing that gives me anxiety, but shouldn't:
since i was like... 8... i've had this horrifying mental image of someone forcing me to bite into a chalkboard
since i was like... 8... i've had this horrifying mental image of someone forcing me to bite into a chalkboard
I know that, like, starving tribes in remote villages in Africa have it pretty bad and stuff, but most of them have probably also never had to deal with that feeling you get when you think you’re done going down a flight of stairs, except there’s one more and even though it’s only one step you momentarily assume that your body is magically falling forever through the floor and...
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