I am a precious gem of a rockgodess.
In which I display I have enough time on my hands...
Maci is my favorite. If Maci isn’t your favorite then we probably wouldn’t get along, because you’re a stupid moron who eats Idiot-Os for dinner even though Idiot-Os are obviously a breakfast food. But she’s still kind of a spoiled bitch. I’m rooting for her, don’t get me wrong, but how can you sit there and complain about money issues when your hair is always...
My name. We also have a guinea pig, but whatever....
Anonymous asked: What's the correct pronunciation of your name?
I got into an argument with my father today and now I’m contemplating ruining him by putting sugar in his unsweetened iced tea mix. I just set my alarm to wake me up with Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien. Hundreds of thousands have probably done this already, but I feel like a genius about this decision. Rumor has it that Brittany Murphy and her husband’s death could’ve been due to...
Anonymous asked: Is there anybody from Tumblr that you have an imaginary crush on? Seriously. This is what the question thing is for.
roughguess asked: Dear Caragh: I spend about 30% of my time telling people about Coco, 30% of my time smoking weed and then watching Law & Order: SVU, 20% of my time on the Internet and the remaining 20% of my life is devoted to trival things like work, school and interacting with people IRL (this is rare). I think you're rad. I'm high; you're cool, just thought I'd say so.
Anonymous asked: so last week i um 'did the deed' with a great friend of mine. and now its awkward. how do i make it less awkward?
mckinneycantwrite asked: I'm glad you blogged about trying to win that money contest and got reblogged all over the place. Otherwise I woulda never heard of you, which woulda been a shame 'cuz you're kind of fucking awesome.
If I feel so much better about myself when around people, why do I prefer to spend so much time alone? I do love solitude. I love having silence when I want silence, or noise when I want noise. I love being able to put down a book to watch an episode of Teen Mom, or stop cleaning when I’m only half done because Wayne’s World is airing. I love not having to worry about another person...
I shouldn't have to interact with attractive men...
Waiter: How're you doing on this?
Me: Good, and how are you? --Uh. Hahahahaha. Um. Uh. Can I get the rest of this wrapped up? Hahahahah, and the check. Hahahaha.
The opening scene is audio of Farrah calling the cops on her mom after her mother hit her in the face. Because I know from news reports that everyone is fine and no one was seriously physically hurt, hearing this must be what a million Heavens feels like. I mean, no one deserves to be hit, but Farrah kinda deserved to be hit. That said, her mother is obviously a whack job. By the way, the...
Anonymous asked: Well severe anemia makes sense, they lived together, ate the same things
Internal monologue, while in bed, too sad to put...
Everything is so sad. No matter what I do I can’t stop world starvation or end rape, murder, lonely kids with drug addicts for parents. I never want to hear a child cry in despair again. I feel so helpless I’m paraly—- oh. Oh. Okay. I bet I’m getting my period 2 days early this cycle.
Liam: Who are some old singers from the olden days like when you were a kid?
Me: Uh, WHAT. I am not old.
Liam: Ok, no, I mean, who were some singers from when you were a kid?
Me: Do you know The Spice Girls?
Me: AHHHgod, ok. The Backstreet Boys?
Me: OH MY GOD.
Liam: What about Elvis?
Me: Go brush your teeth and go to bed.
Glad I'm friends with other girls who also get way...
Marissa: Leonardo DiCaprio or Joseph Gordon-Levitt?
Me: That's like making me choose between my children. My sexy children.
Marissa: I think Joseph for black tie events because he looks so good in a suit, but Leo for the days when you just want to hang out.
Me: Yeah. But... Also Leo looks good in a suit and Joseph looks good in hanging out clothes.
Marissa: Hm. Yeah.
(I step out to pump gas, step back in)
Me: I'd marry Joseph and fuck Leonardo.
Marissa: Oh, yeah. Definitely. Obviously.
Me: Because Leo would be fun to drink and party with, but you know Joseph would welcome you home from a long day of work with a foot rub and a cheese platter.
Marissa: He'd draw you a bath and give you a back massage while reading you romantic passages from a book.
Me: Settled! It's settled! Good work.
Marissa: I'm really glad we got this out of the way.