Me: Can you stop? I'm not going to deal drugs. Maybe once-- No, I won't. I'm not dealing drugs.
Me: Because I have a future.
K: Stop it. No you don't.
K: Who are you kidding? Just stop. I'm not going to sit here and play into your house of cards.
Me, laughing: Why is everyone in the family so unsupportive?!
K: Because you're going to do whatever the fuck you want anyway no matter what anyone says, so why should we even offer support?
K: But if we can buy off this guy, then you could potentially --
Me: I'm not going to deal drugs!
cassiesaurusrex asked: What did you think of the dress, Caragh?
molls: Big news! I started a new website with my partners Sophia Rossi and Zooey Deschanel! Today’s our soft launch, but in a very short amount of time you’re going to see a fully loaded website with all sorts of amazing content. Please check out our first video (which features Rob Delaney, Shelby Fero, Jill Kushner, Tess Lynch and her LOVELY fiance, as well as many other faces you’ll...
if you ask me about some injury on my body there’s a 60% chance I’m going to sheepishly tell you it’s from wrestling with my dogs. I’m an adult who has the ability to incubate a child within my body and then raise that child and mold its mind and also I own a vehicle that can hypothetically travel at 90 miles per hour and also my hands are technically capable of murder. I...
PS, I hate that we go to the same school, live in the same town, have roughly...– Ryan. As you can see, I’m a great friend with a lot to offer.
I want to spend most of my summer lightly hungover. I want to read outside every day. For the first time in my life I want my freckles to multiply again and again and again until there’s no amount of cosmetics they can hide behind. I want my hair to air dry every day. I don’t want to see a blow dryer until September. I want to explore the woods. I want to explore the swamps. I want...
Me: It was really fun when we partied at your uncle's when we were in high school.
K: Yeah, he's crazy.
Me: It should definitely be repeated.
K: Well, he's sober now, so...
Me: That sucks!
K: Uh, not really... he was kind of a huge alcoholic... it wasn't really great for his wife or kid...
Me: I meant it sucks for me. But yeah, good point. Good for him.
Changed my mind regarding my second latest post, you guys! I just sat in the parking lot and stared in my rearview mirror for somewhere around 23 minutes this evening when I got out of class. You should definitely hate me because of my raging adult acne! I don’t know what I was thinking! It’s pretty despicable of my brain to think you shouldn’t hate me because of how disgusting...
Anonymous asked: I'm pretty stoked you referred that chick with alopecia as a "cute, fun-loving person". My case isn't as severe but I was diagnosed early January with alopecia. Its just really nice to know some people can look past such visible imperfections. It shows how genuine YOU are, in all honesty.
So thank you, because that post really meant a lot to some stranger.
So thank you, because that post really meant a lot to some stranger.
Yeah, Caragh. When you happen to look up and catch someone looking at you, and he then smiles at you from across the room, the correct response is to immediately look down and start scraping your nail polish off with more concentration than you have ever put into anything. Stare at those nails and pick, pick, pick with such determination that those around you will assume that the answer to the...
Oh, I couldn’t give a shit about the royal wedding, but I need to see that...– Verbatim, literally the only thing I “contributed” to my literature class today. I started my summer vacation two days ago. School just hasn’t caught up yet.
down the rabbit hole
I am a crazy person. I have been sitting here for 15 minutes analyzing my analyzations until they are no longer thoughts, but by-products of thoughts and no, I DON’T even KNOW what I MEAN BY THAT. When will I get sick of this? I’m already sick of this. When will I totally be over this whole “I’m-a-mess” persona? When will I be ready to grow up and not give a shit...
When I was a girl, my life was music that was always getting louder. Everything...– Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer (via dontcallmemargaret)
Possessing neither an intimidating manner nor good looks, I’m left completely stumped, yet smugly pleased, that when one particular customer with a really pre$tigious profe$$ion with lot$ of perk$ comes to my window he ends up tripping over his words and acting like a goddamned (adorable) awkward fool. I’m trying to figure out exactly what causes this. I’m torn between “he...
Chocolate Boy is his imaginary friend he blames...
Sister: What happened to your cheek?
Her 2 year old son: Chocolate Boy hit me in the eye. And he slapped me on the face. And then Chocolate Boy broke my basketball hoop.
Sister: Well, I don't want you to hang out with Chocolate Boy anymore.
Her 2 year old son: But Momma! He my best friend! And Mama, guess what.
Her 2 year old son: Chocolate Boy said 'fucker'
Sister: Don't say that!
Her 2 year old son: I didn't, Chocolate Boy did, Mama!
I have this really great idea to build a sauna and keep some chickens in there so that they lay hard boiled eggs. I know, I know, Science is gonna be all over this one. Thank god blogs are time-stamped! Two nights ago I woke up at 4 AM on account of sadness. I had a dream so sad that it woke me up. That shit’s fucking retarded because, and I don’t know if my dreams know this, but I...
Taylor: Do you remember that time you freaked out on my couch?
Me: You're going to have to be more specific.
Taylor: You started to freak out, and then you got completely silent and wouldn't talk for a really long time until you finally squeaked, "can we pleeeassse just watch The Craigslist Killer?" like it was the only antidote. You don't remember that?
Me: You're going to have to be even more specific. I feel like that's happened at least 3 times this year.
And then panic ensued.
Me: You excited to dye eggs?
2 year old nephew: I'M DYING?
What does an early abortion look like? →
tinysprout: This is what 90% of abortions actually look like. Very, very different from the pictures of cut up babies anti-choice people like to flaunt, let me tell you [which are actually premature babies or late-term abortions performed for health reasons - about 1% of all abortions] The picture is not graphic. I know this has been reblogged a thousand times, but I think this is really...
I may or may not have burst into tears the moment I walked into work and my boss asked me how I was doing. I can’t remember the last time I’ve cried in front of people. I hadn’t even turned on my computer yet. I haven’t been having a good time lately. This week has been awful. I hate knowing that I have numerous amounts of people who care about me, who would listen to...
I have three mattresses.– Kaileen is doing a really good job at convincing me to spend most of nights at her place this summer. I feel mad sorry for Jess and Matt, who had to witness what sort of people Kaileen and I become when we’re around each other. For reference on what type of people that is, we spent a portion...
Light at the end of a really long and expensive...
Remember when I said it’s not as big of a deal as you think it is when you fail a college course? It’s not, I promise you. But when an entire year of your life was devoted to retaking classes you got C-s and under in, that’s not the greatest time. One full semester in the spring, and then one semester of a single senior seminar and I’m done. That last semester won’t...
Anonymous asked: Lolol this girl is stealin from yuh
Anonymous asked: Have you ever failed a college course?
My body is doing this really great thing where I get a stomach ache every time I’m nervous, which means I have a stomach ache every morning before I get out of bed and several through-out the day. This is all really tubular because general, floating, light anxiety was really getting boring. That would really fucking suck if this sticks. I love xanax and ativan as much as the next person,...
This one's for Caragh
cvxn: Friend: anything fun coming up? Hez: Donald Glover on Friday Friend: The illegitimate son of Danny Glover? Hez: sigh Hez: no Friend: Star of the never completed Predator 4? Hez: i ain’t yo Google, bitch Friend: Oh. “Oh.” This is all of my favorite things in one.
peteispete-deactivated20130521 asked: "I don’t believe in it one bit any more..." implies you once did. What made that end?
I just found my missing W2s. After two hours of tearing apart my room, reassembling my room, digging through the nooks and crannies and secret hiding places I store Important Things I Don’t Want Lost, I found my missing W2s. They were in the mail pile.
peteispete-deactivated20130521 asked: What do you think about God?
First of all, that little dude up there is the only emoticon I’ve ever really taken a liken to instantly, except for 8====D and ( . ) ( . ) because duh. Anyway, that’s how I’m feeling right now for a variety of reasons, but mostly because of this: I’m a mess always. Physically, mentally, spiritually. I am just always a mess on ever level and plane of being. Which is why...