May 2011
Anonymous asked: what do you think of lazy cakes? lazy cakes + LoveSac?
yes?
...no?
yes?
...no?
My catchy, new rap song I invented when I realized...
YOOO!!!! HANDS IN THE AIR IF YOUR EXPECTATIONS FOR SELF ARE SO IMPOSSIBLY HIGH THAT THEY BLEED INTO THE EXPECTATIONS FOR OTHERS UNTIL ONE DAY YOU REALIZE THAT YOU’RE KIDDING YOURSELF.
I WOULD JUST LIKE YOU TO REPEAT THAT IF YOU EVER EXPECT ANYTHING OUT OF ANYONE. SAY WHAT YOU EXPECT AND THEN END WITH “I MUST BE KIDDING MYSELF.”
“I expect Marcus to take out the trash. I...
“What appeared to be nothing more than an oversize bean bag chair turned out to...”
– HelloGiggles – The Lovesac Is A Little Old Place Where We Can Get Together (lovesac, Baby)
If the LoveSac company wants to give me a LoveSac, I already have an entire blogging week of LoveSac reviews in mind; How LoveSacs Feel on Monday, How LoveSacs Feel on Tuesday, How LoveSacs Feel on Wednesday,...
I keep thinking about having a conversation with a friend in which it was said the best thing you can be is “unapologetically you”.
I’m trying to adhere to that. It’s the truest shit I’ve ever heard. There is no more attractive trait a human can have than being unapologetically themselves. Everything else is secondary.
Okay, okay. Besides money. So being rich and...
18 Funny Women You Should Be Following On Twitter... →
drinkyourjuice:
Oh you best believe we put Emmy, Molls, and Caragh on this motherfucker.
Also Julie duh.
Baffled/in love with all of you. I have a lot of trouble trying to be funny or interesting in 140 characters or less. It’s why I keep deleting Twitter!
“How about some words of wisdom from the new Web site HelloGiggles, co-founded by...”
– Woody Allen’s Estranged Son Has an, Um, Admirer | Movieline
B-)
One thing we won’t talk about is how yesterday at around 1:30 I was super, super excited about HelloGiggles and then yesterday at around 2:15 I became paralyzed with guilt in an Ocean State Job Lot parking lot over the...
Anonymous asked: so you are back to using your real name on the internet where future employers will see it?
1 tag
1 tag
Tearz 4 Yearz
I’ve decided I’m going to keep a running list of reasons and/or places I have cried. Don’t worry about it, okay? It’s fine. Crying is just how I deal with everything. It doesn’t mean I’m a psycho, it just means I’m super in touch with myself and my emotions. Oprah would love me.
I’m doing this because I have an acute sense as to what is hilarious...
closertotheocean asked: you probably know or would like this lawrence krauss quote:
"Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust. You couldn’t be here if stars hadn’t exploded, because the elements - the carbon,...
"Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust. You couldn’t be here if stars hadn’t exploded, because the elements - the carbon,...
“Please pay attention not just to the words, but to the silent spaces between the...”
– Eckhart Tolle
I found this quote in a magazine, or a book, or overheard it on the radio. I don’t recall. I wrote it on the back of a checking account withdrawal slip and have been using it as a bookmark for months. A small green piece of paper, just long enough to no longer be classified as a...
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“Because you can. Remember, when you’re with me it’s the only time...”
– Ally McBeal, in response to John Cage’s “wait, why am I telling you all of this?”
Because we WOULD run out of gas at one in the morning on the way home.
If you want to know just how strong my Irish/German determinism and stubbornness actually runs, let it be known that the moment the car stalled I turned into Mega Bitch, who promptly said “let’s start pushing, I have to wake up for work at 6.”
We started pushing in silence.
“This is good,” I...
EXCLUSIVE!!! YANKEE CANDLE WILL BE DISCONTINUING...
Ocean Farts and its sister scent, Ocean Queefs
General Barn Aroma
Bleached Public Restroom (complaints were made due to it smelling exactly like last year’s scent, Your Sister’s OCD)
Musty Grandma
Lightly Used Tampon
Ke$ha (complaints were made due to it smelling exactly like Lightly Used Tampon)
Possibly But Not Probably Attainable Bucket List
Get high with Doug Benson
Win money on a game show
Start a nail polish line
Start a nail polish line laced with THC and give Doug Benson a manicure?
I’m stoned.
Places I Will Never Go Again; A Comprehensive List...
Florida
Middle school
A Yankee Candle store
I was working on a really cool “comic” last night that demonstrated the places I have cried and how I shielded the evidence from the people around me (this includes running to the bathroom and tipping your head down and jutting it forward, to ensure all tears bypass the eye make up), but then my lap top died.
I swear to god I’m not as much of a mess as my blog makes me out to...
I just realized that the only thing that makes me happy is getting stoned and then staring in the mirror for upwards of an hour while I slowly do my hair and make-up.
“Drown the flaws in false pigment. Yeah, you straighten that kinked hair follicle.”
I plan on putting on a full fucking face tonight, despite the fact that my plans entail going to an art studio where my art friend will...
“With age, my filter has certainly improved. The terrible thoughts persist. Of...”
– Etrangere: Memories
You gotta read my best friend’s blog post in full, but I had to point out this part because I want to tell her/the world that a few of my favorite memories of her are when she is tired and hungry, acting like this little cranky bear toddler. I don’t know how old...
3knuxdeep-deactivated20120103 asked: I just wanted you to like me. I worked hard on that message like day and night. That whole message makes this one pretty crazy, right? It's cool, though. It's all good. You want a dude who keep it real and stay hood.
checosafai:
Most of the time, I get really high at night and end up putting away a half smoked bowl.
The upside to this: I always get a surprise unfinished bowl to start my night with.
The downside: I hate smoking half ash bowls.
Jess is coming correct with her observations and also I just realized that I didn’t call her Sunday night in regards to our plans nor she me, so I’m...
Though I almost never fall victim to drunk texting, I’m sad to report that I drunk texted like a motherfucker the night of Gambino’s show. I guess that’s what happens after Four Loko (my first, although it was decaffeinated, so I dismiss it as being merely a vomit-tasting malt beverage) and all of the whiskey sours (all of them). Here is one conversation held at 1 in the morning,...
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Anonymous asked: you have a pet FREAKING SNAKE?
I gave up pretty early today. Sometime around 7 at night. The pajama pants came on and I never looked back.
No. Kidding. Mostly. I mean, not about the pajama pants at 7 PM, but about giving up and never looking back. Which brings me to the point:
What if I never stop being a person who constantly freaks out?
How come I hate the public and its germs so much, but I’m the messiest fucking...
A bed ( listen (help·info)) is a large piece of furniture (or a location) used as a place to sleep, and as a primary place for relaxation.
Most modern beds consist of a mattress on a bed frame, with the mattress resting either on a solid base, often wooden slats, or a sprung base. In North America many beds include a box spring inner-sprung base[1], a large mattress-sized box containing wood...
“In the 17th century, which has been called “the century of magnificent beds”…”
– http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bed (via keyboardpubes)
I DONE BEEN BORN IN THE WRONG ERA.
“I hate the Eucharist.”
– My brother, whispering to us, after he sang about loving the Eucharist in front of the entire parish during his First Communion.
Flashbacks to how my inability to be an open and loving person wouldn’t allow me to tell my sister “Peace be with you” as children when we had to shake...
