February 2012
Too tired to party, never too tired to bowl.
Kaileen: Remember that time we almost missed that party because of traffic and considered just going to Boston Bowl instead as we passed it?
Me: Haha, yeah. Wait, was that the same party we ended up leaving early because we were tired, but then we really did end up at Boston Bowl?
Kaileen: YES.
I’m editing my reading for the final time. It’s only two pages single spaced, but after an hour I’m not even halfway done because every three or four sentences I end up lying face up on my bed, with my hands over my eyes, concentrating on inhaling and exhaling and then inhaling and then exhaling and then, oh god, I have to inhale again? And exhale again? Are you telling me that I...
I had more of a visceral reaction to the realization that someone ate the rest of my expensive bread than I’ve ever had over the fact that gay people still can’t get married in most states. I’m doing great over here, guys! Really got my priorities in check!
It takes about 20 minutes to walk from one side of campus to the other if you’re booting it at a good pace. Yet we have a shuttle. I can’t imagine that you save more than 5 minutes taking this shuttle, and the whole thing makes me so angry because I can’t even imagine how much money the school is pouring into these goddamned busses.
I am so lazy, but even I can’t even...
I’m scared to confirm because I don’t want my hopes to be dashed, but I think that Haifa is inundated with cats roaming the streets and the only way this could be better is if there were thousands of dogs there too, and also maybe some baby goats?
“Where did I hear recently where someone was talking about dogs in wheelchairs?” “Me. It was probably me. I — I always talk about dogs in wheelchairs.”
“She was hollow with what had been fear but what was now just an emptiness. All...”
– Joyce Carol Oates
Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?
(via givemeajobplease)
One of my favorite short stories.
“If you’re in an earthquake and suction yourself suddenly to the floor...”
– Joan Rivers on vaginal reconstruction surgery to tighten, uh, vaginas.
Affect intense vocal fry, little tonality and...
Me: This deck reminds me of the patriarchal society we find in America today.
Kaileen: This deck is definitely part of the the patriarchal society.
Jason: Okay, WHO are you imitating with this?
Kaileen and I: Girls.
1 tag
I’m going to start keeping track of my Israel-based nightmares because it’s 5 months away and I’ve already had 3 nightmares and there is a part of me — the part of me that sees all of my anxiety, all of my worry, all of my weird nuances and finds it fucking hilarious that I just can’t enjoy my life like a normal human being who is super privileged and didn’t...
I’m going to go sit down with some 6 grain and pumpkin seed bread, some cheese that is so expensive that it doesn’t even make sense to digest it and not preserve it forever as some sort of financial investment, and all of the wine — all of the wine — and pretend it’s all very healthy and I’m not at all drowning my emotions in refined carbohydrates and alcohol by...
This is now a Nightmare Blog.
Had a dream everyone I knew and loved fell victim to the Zombie Apocalypse, though it was more of an infection type of thing a la 28 Days Later. I watched as they began to feel hot, so hot they couldn’t stand it. They would lay in the snow just to get relief. Then they would start to decompose, their teeth turned pointy, and they would try to attack anything they could.
I watched my dogs...
adorablyvulgar asked: Since you're basically the head of the Tumblr Mafia, I'm guessing it was you who put my cake in the LOL tag, and I just wanted to thank you for that. But also, are you trying to get into my pants, Caragh? Again? Is that what this is all about?
It’s really hard to complain about how cold your fingertips are on Facebook when your childhood friend keeps updating everyone on the benefit being held for her little brother who was shot in a freak accident. Luckily there is you, Tumblr.
I think it should be perfectly acceptable to e-mail your professor before class starts and explain that you’re going to miss class because you’re afraid of everything. Everything on a tangible level (murder, rape, falling rocks, brain aneurysm, aortic aneurysms and, oh god, could you get an areola aneurysm? Could that happen? Here lies Caragh, passed away unexpectedly due to a burst...
Anonymous asked: i know someone asian who eats fries with forks
Anonymous asked: I eat french fries with a fork... PS- I'm white.
French Fry/Fork/Racist update:
Upon second inspection, it’s actually ziti. They’re eating it normally. Questions answered and crisis averted.
How am I ever going to marry a rich, handsome black man after seeing two people appear to eat french fries with a fork makes me assume it might be a “black thing”? That’s borderline racist. It might be full on passive racism.
Gonna take an ad out in the...
And now I’ll spend the rest of my life wondering if eating french fries with forks is a “black thing” or if I just stumbled upon the Facebook album of a bunch of people who eat french fries weird and also they’re black and I guess I’m racist?
Someone asked me my life goal the other day and the only thing I could think to say was “make eye contact with Brad Pitt.” Now that I’ve thought about it, I realized that my life goal is to someday hold a conversation with someone and not constantly divert my gaze down and away from theirs because that’s what abused pit bull puppies do, not female human beings.
But then I...
Whoever the fuck invented magnifying mirrors was a fucking cunt.
Anonymous asked: is louis ck your dad?
“Sometimes when I’m brushing my teeth, I’ll look in the mirror and I swear my...”
– Charles Yu, How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe (via bunkercomplex)
Anonymous asked: Have you ever gone to a counselor or a therapist? Anxiety disorders don't go away with willpower or time. If you have such high anxiety that it's affecting your life this much, then it's time to realize it's an illness to be treated.
I wrote for about 15 minutes today, so I rewarded myself with 30 minutes of staring at the ceiling and realizing that I’ve been so involved with anxiety these past few weeks (see: frequent vomiting) that I feel, for the first time in years, completely unanxious. My mind has temporarily given up. I’ve given all I could give to worries and wants. I think the breaking point was the...
I have a pair of pajama pants my aunt gave me last year that stretch to unimaginable widths and lengths. . They’re depressing because a pair of pants with that much give denotes that you’ve given up.
This morning I woke up in an altered version of fetal position, with the waist band of my pants stretched over my shoulders. As in my arms were in my pants, hugging my knees. As in these...
“OH! I get it. He’s gay!”
– If you ever can’t figure a guy out, 99% of the time you’ll come to this realization and 95% of the time you will be right. You’re welcome!!!
Win $5000 for your student loans →
I’m torn because for every one of you that signs up with that link, I get an extra entry. But your entry kind of negates my entry.
Anyway, you know I deserve this more than anyone, except maybe Elizabeth Smart. And even then you KNOW that blonde biddy got mad dough for her interviews later on. Have you SEEN the pearls she wears now?!
Listen
Yet another 7 hour shift at work followed by 5 hours of school.
This morning I masturbated to the unemployment rates. Just kidding. Maybe? I’m just really jealous of people who are unemployed right now.
“A conversation is held under the presumption that you have something of value to...”
– My Shakespeare professor, who was one of three teachers who influenced Robin Williams’ character in Dead Poets Society. He said Keating jumping off the desk was taken directly from his own lecture, and that he worked with Williams one on one for certain mannerisms.
I always know a professor...
