shaving as a metaphor for trying to fix the things...
No matter how much time you waste Or how much money you spend It will never end. (Unless you shoot it with lasers.)
themattsmith asked: why DO you have a blog?
Do you play Prose with Bros on iPad/iPhone? It cost $1.99. I can’t believe I bought it. Anyway, get at me if you’re on it. My username is Caragh because I lack creativity.
While spacing out in front of my laptop, I mindlessly scratched my armpit and remembered something really embarrassing which made me lean forward, clutch my face and moan “why can’t I just be a normal human being?” This is why I have a piece of duct tape over my webcam on my laptop. PS, I’m not kidding — I have a piece of duct tape over my webcam. Did you read that...
lauratheoutlandish asked: I have a long flight coming up. Recommend me a book to bring on the plane? Something that will make me sound cool to English majors.
Anonymous asked: i guess this is random but someone recommended this herbal skin detox tea to you a while ago and you said you'd try it. Did it work?
themattsmith asked: You lose both arms but cure all cancer in the world, or you get cancer but everyone in the world grows a third arm?
Anonymous asked: are you moving out of your parent's place?
realrealsoft asked: how is the cheese in israel? i base travel decisions on cheeses. umm also, what was your favourite food or dish you ate while there?
Anonymous asked: If you get pregnant from being in Israel, would you move there to live the rest of your life?
It's been awhile since I've done this. →
I’m behind on exactly all of my writing assignments and I’ve barely made a dent in packing for my move on Wednesday, so how about you ask a question?
JOHN CAGE, SO DOPE, TEACHING LIFE LESSONS.
John Cage: I used to have a hallucination where my dead aunt kept wanting to have tea with me. It went for two years before I finally stopped her.
Ally McBeal: How did you stop her?
John Cage: I had tea with her.
HelloGiggles – I Don’t Know Why I am Crying →
My friend Katie has an article up on HG! It makes me kind of mad because she’s a great writer and I wish that, in the game, it was just me and a bunch of Stephanie Myers’ out there, but it’s not. Read this if you’re into crying and learning. I love both of those things!
I fell asleep last night without changing out of my jeans and washing my face. If you know me, you know that this is a testament to how I accidentally passed out. I ALWAYS wash my face when I’m sleeping under my own roof, no matter how tired I am. I don’t know, the point of me writing this is to delay me getting out of bed. I’ve been awake for over an hour now, but it’s...
Anonymous asked: why are you a lol tag editor? you're not funny.
Breaking Bad Completely Effs Happy Endings in the...
reviewingcriticism: Hello all, here’s a much shorter thing about Breaking Bad that doesn’t delve deeply into criticism so much as it makes a prediction about the direction the show may take in this final season. I realize such things are ultimately silly as no one outside of Vince Gilligan knows where the show is going, but I think this is one of the best parts of TV fandom; being part of a...
Theresa: What are you doing?
Me: Watching All in the Family.
Theresa: (laughing) Really?
Theresa: Because I thought I was interrupting you. You answered like I was interrupting something very serious and important.
Me: Well, I don't know what planet you're from, but All in the Family is very serious and important.
Theresa: Do you want to hang out with me and Jason tonight?
Me: Yeah. What time?
Me: Ok. Ok. Yeah. Wait, no. I'll probably be there a little after 7. I'll shoot for 7, get there at 7:15
Theresa: Ok, wait, no. 6:45.
Me: No! You can't do that! You can't change it just because --
Theresa: Shoot for 6:45 and get here at 7!
Me: No, because it's going to take me like, half an hour to get there... and I need to take a shower... and it's 5:45 now, so--
Theresa: Let's walk through this together --
Me: No, 7:15! I'll shoot for 7!
Theresa: Let's walk through this together: you're going to get off the phone, finish watching All in the Family, then take a shower and that's why you won't be here until 7:15.
Me: YOU DON'T KNOW ME. SHUT UP.
I really wanted to ride a camel in Israel. During our group meetings in the weeks prior to our departure, we would often throw out requests for activities and desired sites for our personal and collective itineraries. I think maybe the only thing I suggested was that I wanted to ride a camel. “I want to ride a camel,” I said at the last meeting, looking Lee in the eye. “I want...
Didn't realize I missed my Dad so much. (I will...
Dad: So he said I might have a torn labrum... Or labarum? Labrum? I can't remember what it's called.
Me: Well, knowing you, it's probably a torn labia-rum.
Dad: Nah. There's no estrogen in this bitch.
Anonymous asked: I guess you'll say "well don't read my blog then" but you are pretty funny & cool so it's lame having to read you complain throughout your entire trip... thought u were looking forward to going to israel. sounds like it basically sucked.
collegehumor: Cutest Death Ever That’s ruff. THIS GUY IS LIVING MY DREAMMMMMM.
WOKE UP WITH A RASH UNDER MY RIGHT EYE.
etrangere: Caragh and I are joined by the Universe whether we like it or not. My best friend and I are such fucking best friends it’s incredible. Praying 4 Becca and her rash — may it be as painless as mine, with a quicker recovery time.
When I walked in last night after going outside for a cigarette (cigarettes never count after 3 or more beers. The carcinogens cancel each other out and they both become as healthy as blueberries and spinach. It’s weird, I know, but don’t question me.) I started to think, “if I got hit on in America as often as I do in Israel, I would be set.” Then I realized I...
Professor: So what do you want to do when you're done after this semester?
Professor: Do you need a stress nap after that question?
Things I Have Done Today that Have Not Been This...
1. Napped even though I wasn’t tired at all. 2. Listened to half of Fiona Apple’s new album. 3. Stared in the mirror and berated all imperfections for 20 minutes. 4. Opened up the window and leaned out for 5 minutesand hoped anyone else would lean out at the same time so we could acknowledge each other in a nodding kind of way. 5. Decided to leave window open so the city sounds and...
Writing is a nightmare. Writing is fucking terrible. Writing is the worst thing that has ever happened in my fucking life and I think that if someday a murderer filleted me open from between my breasts to my belly button and then jerked off into the gaping wound before sewing me back up and then slitting my throat, my last thought would be “well, at least I don’t have to write a paper...
Anonymous asked: You know you don't really post a ton of pictures of yourself and you talk about having low self esteem occasionally so I didn't really have a clear picture in my head of what you looked like. I was watching the videos of you showing off your rash (of all things) I was struck by how pretty you are.
Ways in Which I'm Not Annoying Anyone at All...
To everyone when I found out Kourtney Kardashian’s baby was born: “Are you really excited that Kourtney Kardashian’s baby was born?” Every time someone is channel surfing: “What about the E! Network? I think Kourtney Kardashian’s baby’s new show is on.” When someone couldn’t recall their password: “Was it Kourtney...
Dead Sea "Do-It-Yourself" Kit:
thebligh: 1) Get a kiddie pool. 2) Get lots of NaCl, or “salt,” for the layperson. 3) Fill the pool with uber-hot water (to allow for maximum solubility). 4) Dump the salt into the pool until the water is saturated, and then dump a ton more in. 5) Sit down into it on the hottest, sunniest day of the year. (Or, make cosmetics from the salty water and charge a buttload.) Congratulations!...
If you’re wondering where The Mother Chick from Danzig’s Mother video is, she’s a Jew for Jesus in Jerusalem, hanging out in comedy/karaoke bars. 40% of The Misfits have been inside her. I’ve now twice spent hours upon hours talking to a person who has had 40% of The Misfits ejaculate on, in and around her body and I’m kind of sad that I find these kinds of...
Shut the fuck up with this life.
A few beers in, 11 PM, floating in the Dead Sea. Put your ears underwater —- you can still hear the saxophone player down the beach that you never did end up finding that night. Put your ears in the water and listen to the muffled sounds of the saxophone and now listen to the pulse in your ears. Everyone out there can hear that sax, but only you have that percussion. They’re not on the...
For someone who is constantly afraid of murder, I sure did find myself getting smoked up in a stranger’s apartment off a back alley in Jerusalem last night.
Kirsten and I are both prone to stress napping. Kirsten and I are both way behind on our projects. We have meetings tonight with our professor about our papers Kirsten and I are in our beds right now, lying down, pretending like we are not going to take post-breakfast stress naps We both fell asleep in our clothes last night because our stress naps turned into full sleeps. Full stress...
Me: I'm such a fan of them. I look at pictures of them sometimes and it's the only time I believe in love.
My professor: I can't say I've ever really looked at pictures of them before.
Me: I'm going to email you a bunch of pictures of Jay Z and Beyonce being in love.