Hi New York friends that I know and are not murderers: I have two tickets for deep sea fishing (lololol) for this Thursday… leaving from the Bronx at 8 AM (lololol) and coming back at 3 PM. They were really expensive and nonrefundable and the person who was supposed to go fell through, so does anyone want to go with me? Tix are paid for already.
What if Labor Day turned out to be the day where everyone, regardless of age or gender, gave birth to a healthy baby?
Also in case you were wondering, please never invite me to an open wine bar event because I held it together in front of Aimee from The Leftovers until the very end when I yelled my good bye which was “I HOPE YOU FUCK KEVIN GARVEY THIS SEASON.”