- The English bro-fessors that helped with orientation were these skinny dudes, one mad Ted Leo-ish, the other with the longest ponytail I’ve ever seen, glasses and absurdly large hands, which I love, but not for the reasons you’re thinking of at all. There is something so cartoonish about people with exaggerated features that I can’t help but feel endeared to him.
- Big Hands I Know You’re the One referred to the yellow-orange paper I was holding as “the goldenrod sheet of paper” and I was like, oh, goldenrod? My god. Swoon! Ya fucking Billy Shakes readin’ dude. PS, teach me the ways of Proust and I’ll teach you how to use conditioner.
- I completely forgot to change my second major from Psych to English.
- I almost ripped the head off the orientation leader trying to help me pick classes, but instead I just said aloud “I need a friggin Xanax.” when she told me for the fiftieth time that I was in a “tight spot” because I already have most of my pre-reqs done and all of the English classes were filled.
- Orientation actually wasn’t as as bad as I expected, but only because I completely shut down emotionally around hour 5 and just let my central nervous system run.
Wait, what.
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About Wait, what.
I'm really embarrassed about blogging. You would think I would quit this, but I can't. It's like that movie about that gay cowboy and that other gay cowboy and how they want to quit each other, but they can't. It's like that with me and my blog. We're just two metaphorical gay cowboys who don't have the ability to quit each other. Except my blog doesn't have the ability to quit me, so it's even more depressing. It's just me, one metaphorical gay cowboy, not being able to quit an inanimate object. I'm not gay and I'm not a cowboy, but I think you get what I mean. Heath Ledger was so hot in that movie.
I write for a hip, cool site over at HelloGiggles because I am a hip, cool person. Just kidding. I don't know why they asked me to write for them.
I'm also an LOL tag editor for Tumblr, so that is also a fact about me. You're welcome!
If you're into it, you can start by reading my posts about Mrs. Coco T, pleasure yourself to Super Close-Ups of Christopher Meloni, or really get to the root of how much of a mess I am by reading about Things That Shouldn't Give Me Anxiety, But Do. Or like, whatever. Just do whatever. I don't know how to do blogs. I don't know what you're here for.
E-Mail, Ask
If you're into it, you can start by reading my posts about Mrs. Coco T, pleasure yourself to Super Close-Ups of Christopher Meloni, or really get to the root of how much of a mess I am by reading about Things That Shouldn't Give Me Anxiety, But Do. Or like, whatever. Just do whatever. I don't know how to do blogs. I don't know what you're here for.
E-Mail, Ask
