Wait, what.

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For whatever reason, because neither my nor my parent’s finances* have changed, I have been offered the Federal Pell Grant for the year with a total of $4600, with an expected MassGrant for the year  with a total of $500.
I’m completely surprised, because this wasn’t the case last year. Last year was pure loans, baby. Pure unadulterated, sexy, luscious, rock hard, throbbing loans.
Am I delighted and ecstatic? No.
I’m just weary and suspicious.
What does “need based grant” mean? Can they take it away if they feel it is not needed? Is it only there if my loans don’t cover the cost of attendance? Because they do. Maybe I should try to see if I can lower my loans so I can let Mr. Grant massage me with this free, no interest, no need to pay back hands? 
Fuck, I hate everything having to do with financial aid. It’s always so confusing for me and every year I fill it out I feel like a puppy lost at sea.
*Yo, heads up for kids in high school who know that their parents can’t co-sign loans or anything because of their financial situation: FAFSA TAKES YOUR PARENTS FINANCES INTO ACCOUNT AND EVEN IF THEY’RE SWIMMING IN DEBT, AND NOT CO-SIGNED ON YOUR ACCOUNT, THEY WILL REWARD YOU LESS MONEY BECAUSE AMERICA WANTS TO MAKE IT AS DIFFICULT AS POSSIBLE FOR THE COMMON MAN AND WOMAN TO RECEIVE A HIGHER EDUCATION.

For whatever reason, because neither my nor my parent’s finances* have changed, I have been offered the Federal Pell Grant for the year with a total of $4600, with an expected MassGrant for the year  with a total of $500.

I’m completely surprised, because this wasn’t the case last year. Last year was pure loans, baby. Pure unadulterated, sexy, luscious, rock hard, throbbing loans.

Am I delighted and ecstatic? No.

I’m just weary and suspicious.

What does “need based grant” mean? Can they take it away if they feel it is not needed? Is it only there if my loans don’t cover the cost of attendance? Because they do. Maybe I should try to see if I can lower my loans so I can let Mr. Grant massage me with this free, no interest, no need to pay back hands? 

Fuck, I hate everything having to do with financial aid. It’s always so confusing for me and every year I fill it out I feel like a puppy lost at sea.

*Yo, heads up for kids in high school who know that their parents can’t co-sign loans or anything because of their financial situation: FAFSA TAKES YOUR PARENTS FINANCES INTO ACCOUNT AND EVEN IF THEY’RE SWIMMING IN DEBT, AND NOT CO-SIGNED ON YOUR ACCOUNT, THEY WILL REWARD YOU LESS MONEY BECAUSE AMERICA WANTS TO MAKE IT AS DIFFICULT AS POSSIBLE FOR THE COMMON MAN AND WOMAN TO RECEIVE A HIGHER EDUCATION.