Wait, what.

Steven from TVHangover interviewed me. I don’t know why either!  I answered these questions while in the school library. It was really fun.

tvhangover:

The Hangover Session with Caragh Poh

There’s only one Caragh in the entire world and she blogs at Whydoihaveblog.  Her knowledge of the Kardashians is unparallelled and there’s a lot of things that shouldn’t give her anxiety, but do.  She writes for Hello Giggles and tweets here.  You should be ashamed of yourself if you are not reading everything she writes.

What TV character would you most like to have drinks with?  
I want to put Deena from Jersey Shore, because generally my goal when getting drunk is to be the least embarrassing person in the room. But if we’re just sitting down for drinks and a chat, it would be Henry Pollard of Party Down. He’s sarcastic, intelligent, and a realist with that little glimmer of optimism. That is an ideal conversational partner.    

Where do you watch TV? Do you watch television on an actual TV?
I usually watch tv shows on my laptop. The only time I ever really take to the couch and watch television is when I’m sick. For some reason I crave mindless daytime television channel surfing whenever I fall ill. I think it must be because that’s how I spent my days when I stayed home sick from school as a child.

What is your “must see tv”?
Curb Your Enthusiasm, Parks & Recreation, and most especially Louie. One thing you constantly hear about Louie is how honest his comedy is. It doesn’t try to fit witty quip after witty quip into the allotted 22 minute space. It’s real, and it’s relatable. I love sad humor.

I once pestered a friend to watch Louie for months. When he finally did, he immediately texted me and told me that Louie reminded him of my entire life. I don’t think he meant it as a compliment, but I took it as one.

What new shows are you looking forward to premiering this fall?
2 Broke Girls, The New Girl and I’m interested to see how Up All Night turns out. I really need Will Arnett back in my life. I’m so upset he left me for this long. Maybe a better woman wouldn’t wait for him, but I could never leave him behind. 

If you could get stoned with any TV character, who would it be and why?
Andy from Parks and Recreation. He’s just this big goofy guy who is always ready for a good time and knows not to take life too seriously. I need more people like that in my life, especially when I’m stoned and trying not to freak out that there’s nothing to stop gravity to stop existing if it really wanted to AND THEN WHAT?!

Let’s talk Keeping Up with the Kardashians. 

1. Would this show exist if Kim didn’t have a sex tape?  Interestingly, the answer is a definite yes! I do believe the show was already in pre-production when the sex tape was released. Whether or not the show would still be on the air in its 6th season is another story
2. Who is your favorite Kardashian?  It’s easy to root for Khloe.  No one would deny that she is drop dead gorgeous if she were placed in any other setting other than the Kardashian household, but because she is the sister of Kim, who is physical perfection, it seems like she is held to a higher standard of beauty than anyone in the entertainment business. Plus, she’s about ten inches taller than both Kim and Kourtney and has characteristically been on the bigger side while her sister have always been petite in both stature and weight. To be outside of the physical norm caused her to develop, I believe, a greater sense of humor than anyone else in that family. I also think she is the “realest”. While Kim wore a reported 10 million dollars worth of burrowed diamonds (her “something borrowed” — I suppose the dress was her “something new”. I wonder what she blew?), Khloe balked at $800 place settings her mother tried to get her to put on her wedding registry.  But Kourtney is the biggest bitch in the game, and I respect that immensely. I idolize her. How could you not? After Kim started to cry because she was ignorant enough to wear $75,000 diamond earrings while in the ocean that — inevitably — fell off her ear lobe, she puts her right in her a place: “Kim, there are people dying.” Loved it.  In the end, I choose Khloe, but it is a tough decision. This question is important to me and is something that I have honestly thought about in my downtime. No shame.

If you could write for any TV show currently airing which show would it be?
Parks and Recreation, hands down. It’s so delightful when a traditional network sitcom comes along that doesn’t sacrifice humor for heart or vice versa.

What was your favorite television show as a child?
Bill Nye the Science Guy. I remember that every Saturday morning, right at the end of the show, they would showcase drawings that children sent in. Across the screen, they would then flash the address that received those drawings and I would try in vain to copy it down before it went to commercial. Every week I would try to write it down swiftly enough, and every week I failed. My parents threw away the half finished addresses when I wasn’t looking, and so I could never just start from where I left off the week before.

I forgot all about that until now. Not having my drawing recognized by the man who taught me about Pangaea might be my biggest life disappointment.

Cast Coco in the following shows:

• Glee - Back from her stint in rehab for sex addicts, Ms. Bellevue (Coco) finds herself once again teaching for McKinley High. Though Principal Figgins is reluctant to have such a financial liability work at his school, ever since the “incident” between her and a fellow teacher 6 years ago in the science wing, he is forced to rehire her due to a multitude of teachers quitting on the spot. Ms. Bellevue follows protocol precisely, keeping her sex addiction at bay… That is, until Artie rolls on into her classroom and, by proxy, her heart. Will Artie’s allure prove too much for her rehabilitated ways?
• Louie - Louie is forced to hire a new babysitter. Everything about her, according to his children, is lovely. She reads them bedtime stories better than he does, cooks meals better than he does, and plays games with them better than he does. Though slightly put off that Gianna (Coco) appears to be better liked by his kids than he is, Louie is nonetheless glad that he has provided such a good role model for his children. Then one night, while the girls are at their mother’s, he turns on his laptop while a bottle of KY Jelly and a box of tissues at his nightstand. He picks a clip from RedTube.com, only to find that he has just spent the last 4 minutes masturbating to his children’s babysitter. Her amateur porn name is GiGi LaRue. He questions whether or not he should keep this modern day Renaissance Woman around. After he finishes, of course.
• 30 Rock - At his age, Kenneth feels he should be married. All of his fellow Hill People had found first cousins to pair off with before they were 20. Desperate to bring a girl home to his ailing mother, whose last wish was to see him with a nice woman — preferably related, though not necessarily so, the NBC Page finds himself joining OKCupid with the help of Grizz and Dot Com. His first date is with Tiph’anie (Coco). He is put off by her overly sexual ways and her immodest style of dress. Tiph’anie, however, never takes no for an answer and spends the 22 minute episode stalking Kenneth, trying to show him just how perfect they are together. 
  
• The Office - Susie Marsh (Coco) is hired as an RPE, Resident Performance Enhancer for all of Dunder Mifflin. She goes from branch to branch on a weekly basis, and the first time she arrives at Scranton with her chihuahua in tow, it appears that her job title is more than aptly named. At their first weekly meeting, Stanley puts down his crossword puzzle (a first in the conference room!), Ryan tries to desperately gain Susie’s attention by interjecting slightly true tales of his grandeur, Kevin won’t stop his high-pitched giggling whenever she talks, and Jim attempts, unsuccessfully, to look everywhere but at Susie while Pam is in the room. Angela, taking note of all of this, holds a Party Planning Committee the next morning under the guise of an upcoming birthday. However, she reveals that what she is really planning is the overthrow of that unChristian, dog-loving, Susie Marsh.
• Dexter - With an unquenchable fetish for blood, Nicole (Coco) has taken to murdering to satisfy her sexual needs. While Dexter begins to stalk her to end her killin’ ways, he finds that she too only murders the drudge of society. In season 6, Dexter finds himself once again considering joining forces with a blonde female sidekick.

Pick any animated movie and create a live action TV series. 
The Land Before Time, but with orphans in the era of the  Great Depression instead of dinosaurs before the ice age. To make things even more convoluted, the children will be played by adults who wear slightly-too-big clothing and have a set that is larger than a real life scale to give the illusion that they are kids. Starring Leonardo DiCaprio as Little Foot, Calista Flockhart as Ducky, Brian Baumgartner as Spike, Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Petrie and Melissa McCarthy as Cera. Though I’ve never seen Harry Potter, Sharptooth would be played by Voldemort. Not the actor who plays Voldemort, just Voldemort.

It would air on AMC, and nationally touted as the best thing to happen to the entertainment world.. You’re welcome, society.

What TV show are you embarrassed to say you watch regularly?
Jersey Shore. I can become physically nauseous when I think about how I contribute to the viewing of this catastrophe. It’s disgusting how these people are meant to represent my generation. Yet what am I doing every Friday night? Visiting MTV.Com to get my Jersey fix.

Put one TV show in a time capsule for future generations to understand what it was like to live in our time.
Maybe I’m bias because I see so much of myself in the show, and I know it’s about a decade old, but Ally McBeal. Sure, the clothing is already dated, but I think the main characters are awesome, one-note, highly stylized stereotypes of different parts of ourselves. My generation seems to have more nervous anxiety than the previous generations, and nothing showcases that more than Ally and John.

What bloggers do you think would write the best TV show?
Molls, of course, which is why I’m so excited to see 2 Broke Girls! I think Alan (lieslieslies) has such a wonderful voice within his writing. It’s funny, deprecating, and honest. That’s everything I appreciate in entertainment.

Write 5 Haikus about Elliot Stabler.

Why are you so mad?
Is it because of your ways;
Irish-Catholic?

Elliot Stabler,
Savior of kids and women,
Why are you leaving?!

I once saw you take
A perp out with your bare hands.
I was so turned on.

You are the reason
I have seen endless amounts
Of women get raped.

The way your neck vein
bulges out just so, and the
way your brow furrows.

Wilma or Betty?
Wilma. Solidarity with my redheaded sisters.

Paul Shaffer or Andy Richter?
I think I came too late to the late night comedy party to appreciate the Letterman/Schaffer dynamic. Andy Richter is delightful.

Dancing with the Stars or So You Think You Can Dance?
I’ve never seen either of these. I actually only realized these were different shows when I read this question. Probably Dancing with the Stars, because I think that’s the on where Kim Kardashian revealed that she can’t dance at all, and I totally revel in any of Kim Kardashian’s minute flaws because they are so far and few between.

Tom or Jerry?
Tom. Jerry was just too smug.

Regis or Kelly?
I know I’m supposed to say Regis, but I have to go with Kelly. Regis is exhausting. I can only listen to him for 4 minutes without wanting to take a nap.

Best hangover remedy?
Weed and Gatorade if you have a headache, weed and a breakfast sandwich if it’s your tummy.

What other tumblrs/bloggers would you like to see answer questions like this?
Sade, TessLynch, lieslieslies, 3KnuxDeep.