Wait, what.

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I hate talking about my feelings.

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Kourtney Kardashian.

It’s hard to talk about something you’ve never known, girl. I don’t talk about politics because I know exactly 0 of what goes on because my brain flat lines when I hear the words government, president and summit. I wish I could care, I really do. I honestly wish I could. But I can’t. And I never will, unless I marry a Kennedy.

(Senior year of high school, while trying to figure out college plans with a friend, we decided to use Wikipedia, Google and various social media websites to instead find single male relatives of the Kennedys between ages 16 and 35. You don’t need a Bachelor’s to marry a Kennedy. You don’t even need an Associate’s.)