Wait, what.

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May 19

( Marlon Teixeira via damndamnfine)
Yo. Ogle. Just ogle. It’s ok. Look at that body. That’s a perfect male specimen. Having sex with that would be your closest experience to God.
He’s 17 and a half and I’m going to jail because this is child pornography. Like, I won’t even deny it. I don’t watch porn, but in my internet history you will find google searches such as “Chris pine, shirtless”* “Christopher Meloni, buttocks”** and “hot, shirtless guys holding cute puppies” because that’s a website idea I had and if someone wants to sponsor that, I think we can make a lot of money. I have unlimited access to baby dogs and, I don’t know, once I saw a really hot homeless guy so I bet there’s a bunch out there who would do a ten minute photo shoot in exchange for a turkey sandwich. Or like, ham even. They’re not picky.
Wait, I got off topic. What I’m trying to say is that it is fucking wrong for this guy to be under 18. Whatta crime against humanity.

*LISTEN, HIS SHOULDERS AND ARMS WERE TOO GOOD TO NOT SEE MORE OF?
**I was fucking curious. Don’t even think you aren’t.

Yo. Ogle. Just ogle. It’s ok. Look at that body. That’s a perfect male specimen. Having sex with that would be your closest experience to God.

He’s 17 and a half and I’m going to jail because this is child pornography. Like, I won’t even deny it. I don’t watch porn, but in my internet history you will find google searches such as “Chris pine, shirtless”* “Christopher Meloni, buttocks”** and “hot, shirtless guys holding cute puppies” because that’s a website idea I had and if someone wants to sponsor that, I think we can make a lot of money. I have unlimited access to baby dogs and, I don’t know, once I saw a really hot homeless guy so I bet there’s a bunch out there who would do a ten minute photo shoot in exchange for a turkey sandwich. Or like, ham even. They’re not picky.

Wait, I got off topic. What I’m trying to say is that it is fucking wrong for this guy to be under 18. Whatta crime against humanity.

*LISTEN, HIS SHOULDERS AND ARMS WERE TOO GOOD TO NOT SEE MORE OF?

**I was fucking curious. Don’t even think you aren’t.

Reblogged 3 years ago from damndamnfine

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About Wait, what.

I'm really embarrassed about blogging. You would think I would quit this, but I can't. It's like that movie about that gay cowboy and that other gay cowboy and how they want to quit each other, but they can't. It's like that with me and my blog. We're just two metaphorical gay cowboys who don't have the ability to quit each other. Except my blog doesn't have the ability to quit me, so it's even more depressing. It's just me, one metaphorical gay cowboy, not being able to quit an inanimate object. I'm not gay and I'm not a cowboy, but I think you get what I mean. Heath Ledger was so hot in that movie. I write for a hip, cool site over at HelloGiggles because I am a hip, cool person. Just kidding. I don't know why they asked me to write for them. I'm also an LOL tag editor for Tumblr, so that is also a fact about me. You're welcome!

If you're into it, you can start by reading my posts about Mrs. Coco T, pleasure yourself to Super Close-Ups of Christopher Meloni, or really get to the root of how much of a mess I am by reading about Things That Shouldn't Give Me Anxiety, But Do. Or like, whatever. Just do whatever. I don't know how to do blogs. I don't know what you're here for.

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