Wait, what.

Should you happen to be possessed of a certain verbal acuity coupled with a relentless, hair-trigger humor and surface cheer spackling over a chronic melancholia and loneliness - a grotesquely caricatured version of your deepest self, which you trot out at the slightest provocation to endearing and glib comic effect, thus rendering you the kind of fellow who is beloved by all yet loved by none, all of it to distract, however fleetingly, from the cold and dead-faced truth that with each passing year you face the unavoidable certainty of a solitary future in which you will perish one day while vainly attempting the Heimlich maneuver on yourself over the back of a kitchen chair - then this confirmation that you have triumphed again and managed to gull yet another mark, except this time it was the one person you’d hoped might be immune to your ever-creakier, puddle-shallow, sideshow-barker variation on adorable, even though you’d been launching this campaign weekly with a single-minded concentration from day one - well, it conjures up feelings that are best described as mixed, to say the least.

-

David Rakoff. (janked from metacritique’s facebook)

This is so exceptional that I can’t even deal. Halfway through reading it, I sped through it so fast I realized I wasn’t even processing what was written and had to go back and reread it. I just wanted it too badly too quickly.

I’ve never heard of him before, but I’m wiki’ing him and I am so angry that I have no real time to read for pleasure this semester.

This quote, man. Goddamn. Goddamn. Goddamn.

What is it about reading something you relate to that, however non-heartwrenching it should be, kind of wrenches your heart?