Blind as a doornail, deaf as a bat.
I have what I imagine to be the worst eyesight that has ever existed. This is hyporbole, but just barely, and only because Helen Keller once walked amongst us. Without a visual aid, your face is blurry. Yes. It is. No, I don’t need to know how close you are. Until we are giving each other eskimo kisses, you are blurry.
I just came back from a new eye doctor. It was my first exam in two years, I have been existing on old prescription contact lenses. I was unsurprised, but still wrecked, over the news that my eyes have gotten even worse.
-9.00 for both eyes in contacts; -10.50 and -10.00 for glasses.
I laughed when he told me, but that kind of laugh you do when you’re trying not to punch everything. Like the laughter is reigning in all forms of anger and fear you have simmering inside you. Quick and breathy, with a tsk.
“What happens if my eyes never stop getting worse? What happens? Will contacts stop working? When do I become legally blind? What’s going to happen to me?”
The optometrist, who was turned away from me, sat up straight and rigid and turned around to look at me. “Let’s, uh” he laughed, “let’s uh, not focus on that right now. Let’s focus on the positive. Around mid-20s is when we start to see the change in our patients’ eyes slow down and stop.”
“What happens if I get Lasik? Will my eyes just get worse after I get Lasik? When do I become legally blind?”
“Let’s focus on the positive,” he repeated.
I left the office focusing on all of the negatives.
