Wait, what.

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Oct 25
Let’s talk about that time I took oxycodone for the first time, which only made me incredibly sleepy, slightly nauseous and when I forgot I took it made me inexplicably wonder if I had diabetes, despite having zero diabetic symptoms. Okay, we already talked about that. When it was happening. After I posted that, I resisted sleeping because I convinced myself that I wasn’t feeling the drug, I was being exposed to a carbon monoxide leak. Somewhere between imagined diabetes and a faux gas leak, I bought a $259.99 juicer. Like… A juicer. For $259.99. But I got the free shipping? I knew that I was going to get one “Congrats for not killing yourself yet, Caragh!!” gift for myself with my grant money, I just had not planned on it… being a juicer. I was thinking a cool stereo system for my car, or a bong, or a new computer. Is this what DARE camp tried to teach me when I was 9? Don’t do drugs because you end up buying expensive things that let you drink kale?

Let’s talk about that time I took oxycodone for the first time, which only made me incredibly sleepy, slightly nauseous and when I forgot I took it made me inexplicably wonder if I had diabetes, despite having zero diabetic symptoms. Okay, we already talked about that. When it was happening. After I posted that, I resisted sleeping because I convinced myself that I wasn’t feeling the drug, I was being exposed to a carbon monoxide leak.

Somewhere between imagined diabetes and a faux gas leak, I bought a $259.99 juicer.

Like… A juicer. For $259.99. But I got the free shipping?

I knew that I was going to get one “Congrats for not killing yourself yet, Caragh!!” gift for myself with my grant money, I just had not planned on it… being a juicer. I was thinking a cool stereo system for my car, or a bong, or a new computer.

Is this what DARE camp tried to teach me when I was 9? Don’t do drugs because you end up buying expensive things that let you drink kale?

Posted 7 months ago

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