Universal Truths

Wait, what.

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Sep 26

Universal Truths

No one anywhere is under the impression that Garden State deserved to be made.
If you’re over 18 and your favorite movie is still Fight Club, you have a problem.
When girls wear jean shorts and their butt cheeks alternatively pop out with each stride, they are not wearing jean shorts. They are wearing denim underwear and I can’t think of anything else that points out with more accuracy that they are trying too hard.
See also: heels over 4 inches.

Posted 1 year ago

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sarahmakesyoustronger said: I’ve never disagreed with you more. About the first two, I mean.
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therewasalittlegirl said: I’m gonna raise my lonely voice and say it: I love “Garden State.” But I still think you’re awesome.
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image is making my day so much brighter.
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About Wait, what.

I'm really embarrassed about blogging. You would think I would quit this, but I can't. It's like that movie about that gay cowboy and that other gay cowboy and how they want to quit each other, but they can't. It's like that with me and my blog. We're just two metaphorical gay cowboys who don't have the ability to quit each other. Except my blog doesn't have the ability to quit me, so it's even more depressing. It's just me, one metaphorical gay cowboy, not being able to quit an inanimate object. I'm not gay and I'm not a cowboy, but I think you get what I mean. Heath Ledger was so hot in that movie. I write for a hip, cool site over at HelloGiggles because I am a hip, cool person. Just kidding. I don't know why they asked me to write for them. I'm also an LOL tag editor for Tumblr, so that is also a fact about me. You're welcome!

If you're into it, you can start by reading my posts about Mrs. Coco T, pleasure yourself to Super Close-Ups of Christopher Meloni, or really get to the root of how much of a mess I am by reading about Things That Shouldn't Give Me Anxiety, But Do. Or like, whatever. Just do whatever. I don't know how to do blogs. I don't know what you're here for.

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