Planes, Trains & Automobiles (and buses.)
I officially hate public transportation a little bit more than I use to. While waiting for my plane, I spaced out and didn’t hear which rows they called to board. So I asked the man next to me who, naturally, turned out to be pretty much a huge fucking weirdo. He asked which row I was in and I said 23. Then he kept talking. And talking. And talking. And oh my god, what is wrong with you? Are you not in the same position as I am? How do you even want to talk to a stranger right now? Why do you even want to befriend someone?
And he’s talking. And talking. And no matter how many times I respond to his sentences with a “heh” and then a look back down at my book to read, HE KEPT TALKING. AND TALKING. AND TALKING.
And lo and FUCKING behold, he was in the same row as me. Keep in mind I was stoned to the bone* and so for a few minutes I was suspicious he purposely put himself in my row. He was never going to let me have silence. He would keep talking and talking and talking because everyone else in his life has told him to shut up already and I’m just too nice to do that to the man. Thank god, every single God, that there was a man between us who had every quality I look for in an airplane seatmate: complete and utter silence.
*Theme of the fucking vacation. My aunt’s roommate was this pretty awesome guy who smoked me up both on the daily and on the nightly. Although the worst thing that could’ve ever happened to me was him asking “Are you leaving now? You wanna smoke some bud before you take off?” because OF COURSE I’ll say yes, sir. OF COURSE I WILL. But do you know what the worst thing in the world is? Do you? It’s watching the ground LEAVE YOU WHILE YOU’RE HIGH.
