I know everyone has sleeping problems, but whatever. This is my blog.
Why is it the happier I am the less I am able to sleep?
Maybe not, maybe it’s coincidence. It probably is. Last night I was hoping to get to bed before 10 and didn’t get to bed until… 5 AM. An hour and a half before my alarm went off. I have been home for 2 hours and still do not feel tired enough to sleep. My mind is racing with a natural high.
You know, I don’t doubt that sometime in the next two months I’ll have a crying fit, or feel like I want to die, or wonder why any of this matters and get angry that no one can answer that question for me. I know that will happen. It’s a fact.
Maybe the reason why for the past several weeks I’ve been happier, why I’ve been lighter, is because I realize this. And I can let go of everything and just be happy that today has been… another day. It wasn’t good, it wasn’t bad, it merely existed and I am so grateful that that’s enough to make me feel good. I feel good. I just can’t believe that 6 months ago that wasn’t enough for me.
Life is shit, full of mediocrity. It’s painful and torturous and the end result is death. How hysterical is that? How great of a joke is that? Life is a snarky bitch.
I am glad I’m here.
