I just took a freezing cold shower. Freezing cold. If I had to guess, I would say the water defied science and was below 0 degrees Fahrenheit. I need scientists to come to my house and study this absolute phenomenon.
I managed to wash my upper body and shampoo my scalp and that was that. Fuck my split ends, those bitches are staying unwashed. Conditioner? Are you kidding me?
The only thing that got me through without sobbing was thinking that this might, just might, be less worse than a gas shower the Jews were put through.
Although I bet the temperature of those were more bearable. I bet the whole thing was more bearable as a whole, because you know the end event is merely death, not nipple and scalp pain. Which is maybe what I felt when I took A FUCKING FREEZING COLD SHOWER.
FUCK.
Sister: How’s your poonani feel?
Me: I did not allow the water to touch that.
Sister: It would probably clasp shut.
Me: Like a fucking Venus fly trap.
Mom: Why do you two talk like this?
