Wait, what.

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Nov 20

Do you have any horribly embarrassing middle/high school experiences that stick out in your memory? Like, once in middle school, I got hit in the eye with a dodge-ball and had to wear an eye patch for two weeks to school. Not like, gauze and tape, but a real eye patch. People made pirate jokes until I cried. Do you have any memories like that?

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I’m honestly probably blocking the worst ones, but there is one that will never leave me and, fuck. I can’t even believe I’m going to write it.

My friends know how absolutely squeamish I am when it comes to nearly everything involving bathroom activities. I don’t even usually like saying most of those words out loud. It’s just.. I mean, it’s 2011. Why hasn’t science found a cure for urinating yet? Why?

Ok, whatever. I digress.

In fourth grade I farted.

Jesus.

Only the kid across from me heard it. He looked at me and I looked back and then I did what I do best about unfavorable events: I pretended it didn’t happen as I mumbled something about him being a weirdo for looking at me for no reason.

Posted 6 months ago

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serena-is-blank-n-shit said: in 5th grade i farted and insisted that it was just the construction outside. What machine sounds like a fart??
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About Wait, what.

I'm really embarrassed about blogging. You would think I would quit this, but I can't. It's like that movie about that gay cowboy and that other gay cowboy and how they want to quit each other, but they can't. It's like that with me and my blog. We're just two metaphorical gay cowboys who don't have the ability to quit each other. Except my blog doesn't have the ability to quit me, so it's even more depressing. It's just me, one metaphorical gay cowboy, not being able to quit an inanimate object. I'm not gay and I'm not a cowboy, but I think you get what I mean. Heath Ledger was so hot in that movie. I write for a hip, cool site over at HelloGiggles because I am a hip, cool person. Just kidding. I don't know why they asked me to write for them. I'm also an LOL tag editor for Tumblr, so that is also a fact about me. You're welcome!

If you're into it, you can start by reading my posts about Mrs. Coco T, pleasure yourself to Super Close-Ups of Christopher Meloni, or really get to the root of how much of a mess I am by reading about Things That Shouldn't Give Me Anxiety, But Do. Or like, whatever. Just do whatever. I don't know how to do blogs. I don't know what you're here for.

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