Wait, what.

Now, usually I don’t do this, but, uh… go ahead on, break ‘em off with a little preview of the remix.

You know how when you set your alarm to be your favorite song to wake you up your thought process is: I definitely won’t get sick of this song like I have with all the other songs I’ve set as my alarm. I know I’ve said it before, but it definitely won’t happen this time.

But then it does happen, because waking up is awful. It’s just the worst thing in the entire world and I still can’t get over that we’re forced to do it every fucking day. Waking up = Emotional-Boner Killer.

Two weeks ago I set my alarm to be R. Kelly’s “Ignition (Remix)” and I have yet to grow sick of it. In fact, I fucking relish it. There’s only been a handful of times I’ve pressed snooze during the middle of the song, but most other days I lay there in bed thinking about how incredible I find this song.

I mean, yeah, I’ve discussed how hilarious his metaphor for p-in-v sex (key in ignition! brilliant!) is, but what about the line “I’m like, ‘so what? I’m drunk’”? Fantastic. Amazing. It’s a man in his late 30s who feels the need to act strangely defensive about his drinking habits.

ilu, R. Kelly. I feel like I’m probably going to meet you someday.