Wait, what.

I'm really embarrassed about blogging. You would think I would quit this, but I can't. It's like that movie about that gay cowboy and that other gay cowboy and how they want to quit each other, but they can't. It's like that with me and my blog. We're just two metaphorical gay cowboys who don't have the ability to quit each other. Except my blog doesn't have the ability to quit me, so it's even more depressing. It's just me, one metaphorical gay cowboy, not being able to quit an inanimate object. I'm not gay and I'm not a cowboy, but I think you get what I mean. Heath Ledger was so hot in that movie. I write for a hip, cool site over at HelloGiggles because I am a hip, cool person. Just kidding. I don't know why they asked me to write for them. I'm also an LOL tag editor for Tumblr, so that is also a fact about me. You're welcome!



If you're into it, you can start by reading my posts about Mrs. Coco T, pleasure yourself to Super Close-Ups of Christopher Meloni, or really get to the root of how much of a mess I am by reading about Things That Shouldn't Give Me Anxiety, But Do. Or like, whatever. Just do whatever. I don't know how to do blogs. I don't know what you're here for.

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Everything looks like it’s falling into place (except for the fact that I gained back the entire 35 pounds I lost last year, but whatever. Maybe I can go camping with my friends and then when they get lost I’ll kill myself and then they will eat for months off of my carcass and, haha, this started sentence started out as a joke but now I’m way more fucking depressed about it than I was 45 seconds ago), and that makes me very, very nervous that I’m going to get into a car accident or will soon be diagnosed with breast cancer or kidnapped and forced to rip apart cotton balls for 16 hours a day.

Oh my god, I would rather take the cancer. Don’t make me rip apart cotton balls.

  1. stryker said: the way they feel on your fingers
  2. whydoihaveablog posted this