Wait, what.

I'm really embarrassed about blogging. You would think I would quit this, but I can't. It's like that movie about that gay cowboy and that other gay cowboy and how they want to quit each other, but they can't. It's like that with me and my blog. We're just two metaphorical gay cowboys who don't have the ability to quit each other. Except my blog doesn't have the ability to quit me, so it's even more depressing. It's just me, one metaphorical gay cowboy, not being able to quit an inanimate object. I'm not gay and I'm not a cowboy, but I think you get what I mean. Heath Ledger was so hot in that movie. I write for a hip, cool site over at HelloGiggles because I am a hip, cool person. Just kidding. I don't know why they asked me to write for them. I'm also an LOL tag editor for Tumblr, so that is also a fact about me. You're welcome!



If you're into it, you can start by reading my posts about Mrs. Coco T, pleasure yourself to Super Close-Ups of Christopher Meloni, or really get to the root of how much of a mess I am by reading about Things That Shouldn't Give Me Anxiety, But Do. Or like, whatever. Just do whatever. I don't know how to do blogs. I don't know what you're here for.

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Someday I’ll tell you about three awful and boring girls I met in middle school/junior high who hated me and how, over the course of several years, I strong armed them into being my friend until they enjoyed my company. At which point I stopped answering their phone calls and only responded to their in-school conversations with tight smiles and overly polite compliance.

I didn’t realize how insane this was of me until recently.

NO. YOU DON’T GET TO NOT LIKE ME. I DON’T LIKE YOU. THAT’S THE WAY THIS WORKS.

  1. iamaduck said: You’re definitely one of my life heroes.
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