The ability to keep myself alive
I am not only trusted with A human life, but it’s MY human life. It is arguably the most important human life of all and I am in charge of not killing it? Who the fuck created this universe? How am I in chargeof KEEPING MYSELF ALIVE? Can’t I appoint someone to do this for me?
The ability to create a life
I can’t believe I’m just allowed to walk around with these ovaries and a functioning uterus. Probably. Probably functioning.
People making me catch on fire
Not in general, just in an apartment. I know when I get an apartment I will hate my neighbors. I know I will. I hate a lot of people, so this is just statistically speaking. Science and shit. And I’m going to have to fucking live in that place with the full knowledge that if one of these idiots leaves their coffee pot on or a hair straightener on the mattress then I AM DYING?
Someone severing my femoral artery
One time on L&O:SVU this lady severed her own femoral artery so she wouldn’t have to snitch to C-Meloni. But the way it was shot it looked like she stabbed her vagina and that made me want to just faint all over the place. Just faint and then immediately stand up and walk 6 inches and faint again and over, and over, and over again until I’ve fainted all over every square inch of this house.
But it wasn’t her vagina, it was her femoral artery. Which is only slightly less worse.
Stabbing my own vagina
I just feel like some things don’t need explaining.