How I Will Absolutely Win $50,000 on a Radio Contest Tomorrow:
- Heard on the radio a contest wherein the DJ reads off the first 4 digits in the serial number of a dollar bill and the ninth caller with a matching bill wins a bunch of money to rub all over their face.
- Realize you work at a bank.
- Withdraw your entire bank account in dollar bills.
- Consider running away because you feel so goddamn rich.
- Take pictures of you and your money for your blog.
- Enter the first 4 digits of the serial number into Excel. (I did the math - this will take about 2 hours.)
- Sit in parking lot of school with my computer and bag of money, because I have a final at 8 AM and the drawing is at 7:30 and I can’t very well use my laptop while driving to school… Probably.
Did I take multiple pictures of the cash? Yeah. Did I take multiple pictures of me with the cash? I will in a second. Did I take pictures of me outside with 2450 one dollar bills covering my naked body so I can send those pictures to Li’l Wayne in prison? Well, no, but I’m trying to find a flaw in that idea and I just can’t. I just can’t.