When I was around the age of 12, having just received the beautiful gift of CRAMPS and BLOATING and MENSTRUATING just a few months prior, I was hit with my period, which I thought was over and thus was ill prepared, in the middle of CCD class
I remember sitting in my metal, folding chair thinking, “this is not happening. No. This is not happening,” to the point where I almost believed it. Until a few moments later when there was really no way to ignore it. I sat up straight with my ankles crossed.
And how appropriate. During CCD class. What a way to drive home how badly Eve’s Original Sin will effect me throughout my life, God. As if being raised Catholic isn’t enough of a reminder that everything I enjoy in this world is completely inappropriate, you go and remind me via my vagina? That… What? My wrong-doings are innate? Passed down to me since the beginning of time? I slouched over and lay my head on the table, completely blown away that this was happening.
As I sat there I wondered if my body was playing some sort of weird, inappropriate joke on me. That’s the only reason why I would stop menstruating for 24 hours and then start again, right? For a laugh? A really funny joke my body thought up? I sat back up and glared at every female around me, guessing all of them were far too sophisticated to be caught in my position.
Or maybe It’s not. Joking or my period, I mean. It’s neither a joke nor is it my period, because, I mean, I am in CCD class… Has stigmata of the vagina ever been a thing that happens?
(EPILOGUE: IT WASN’T STIGMATA OF THE VAGINA.)